909 resultados para LOVE


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My PhD-thesis Body Images! Psychoanalytical Analysis of Finnish Performance and Body Art in the 1980s and 1990s considers Finnish performance and body art performed mainly by visual artists. In Part I, I chart the historical construction of performance art and its extension since the beginning of the 21st century. There are several wievs of the historical background of performance art. I introduce three different genealogies of performance art. One is Rose-Lee Goldberg s view. She connects performance art with the European avant-garde already at the beginning of the 20th century from futurists and dadaists to Russian avant-garde and the Bauhaus. I prefer to present performance art as contemporary art, which began to take shape in connection with visual arts in the 1950s and 1960s. The focus on the body is apparent in nearly all performance art. Nevertheless, throug the concept of body art I want to empasize the artist s body as the place of art. Body art (as part of performance art) functions as thematic and interpretive concept, which allows me to focus on performances where the questions of body image, narcissism, desire, language and pleasure are incorporated in particular intensive ways. In Part II, I explore the arrival of performance art in Finnish visual arts in the 1980s. I study the new generation s relation to earlier Finnish happenings (1960s) and performative actions in 1970 s. I briefly introduce performance groups of the 1980s art scene and consider their reception in media. The main focus is on the group Jack Helen Brut, in which I see many similarities to the so- called Theatre of Images. The goal of this part II is to provide historical context for the performance analysis that follows. In Part III, I develop the concept of body image which is my main theoretical term. The concept of body image is used according to Lacanian psychoanalytical theory, especially his considerations of mirror stages. My first mapping of body image, which I call imaginary body image, is based on Lacan s famous mirror stage article (1949). According to my reading, body image is narcistic and aggressive. The important concepts here are ego, imaginary, méconnaisance and alienation. In 1953 Lacan began to develop different version on mirror stage, in which he emphasized the primacy of symbolic dimension. It is not image, but language which constructs the foundations of body image. Central concepts in this chater are Other as language, ego-ideal, demand and desire. In the last chapter I connect the third version of the mirror stage to concepts of gaze, phantasy, real, jouissance and object a. In previous chapters I had considered body image in relation to ego. Now I explore it in relation to subject. In my reading the body image is fragile phenomen, which oscillates between yearning for coherence and phantasies of fragmented images. Part IV of the thesis begins with an introduction to the central concepts and debates in performace studies over the last few decades. Important concepts are presence, performativity and theatricality. The main substance of my thesis, however, is the performance analysis, which focuses on works by three Finnish artists and one Finnish group. The first analysis concerns the performance (1992) of Kimmo Schroderus. I discuss the relationship between narcissism and body art and the changes in demands projected on body images of men in recent decades in a Euro-American context. I also explore this performance in relation to the myth of Narcissus, which I reinterpret through Narcissus s aggression against his own body. The group Homo S is the main subject of the next analysis. I discuss the relationship between feminist art and performance art, especially in the United States in the 1960s and 1970s. Homo S is different from this early performance art because of its anarchism, humor and rejection of all ideals. Homo S characterizes its performance Body Body (1983) as liberating vulgar feminism . Sociality and performance of erotic relations between women are central in Body Body. Pia Lindman s performances are the subjects of my third analysis. I study three of her performances: Olen muoto (1993), 17 and in love (1994) and Arranged views (1995). I interpret these performances as efforts to disperse the imaginary and symbolic structures of the body image. She constructs the peculiar object a and phantasy space of her own. In the last analysis I move from questions of image and gaze to a study of language, sound and jouissance. I discuss at a general level the performance of orality and helplesness (Hilflosigkeit) in body art. The central elements in Pentti Otto Koskinen s performances are the ear, listening and receptive gestures and postions. Perseveraatio (1998) can be understood representing as submission to the super-ego s power, which compels one to enjoy. I examine particularly closely the performance Maissi on hyvää ei missään nimessä maissia (1995), which I interpret as the return of a baby s body image to the liminal site of choice: language or jouissance?

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The present dissertation belongs to the tradition of queer theoretical and feminist literary scholarship. The study deals with the literary works of Marguerite Yourcenar (1903-1987), who was the first woman ever to be elected to the French Academy. The study seeks to lead an acclaimed classical French author into a dialogue with the characteristically Anglo-American queer theory and American tradition of queering Lacanian psychoanalysis. Queering the psychoanalytic notions of homosexuality and the categories of perversion and pervert will be elaborated in the present study. The main corpus of the scrutiny consists of five pieces of fiction written in French by Yourcenar. The first person narration and especially récit genre maintain a narrative strategy that the study explores with reference to the representations of non-normative genders and sexualities. Analyzing various radically queer aspects of Yourcenar's texts, the study focuses on the topical questions of masculinity in men, women, and texts. The study also discusses the representations of sexual desire between men, and the various constructions of male homosexuality in Yourcenar's fiction. The present study addresses Yourcenar's fiction from the points of view of female masculinity and textual female masculinity. The investigation finds its study questions and methodology in the area of queer studies, especially queer theoretical literary scholarship and the queer history and historiography of sexuality. That is why the study approaches Yourcenar's fiction in the context of historical and literary representations of male homosexual love and desire. The articulation of the closet, or textual and discursive strategies of sexual secrecy especially concerning male homosexuality, is simultaneously constructed and deconstructed in Yourcenar's fiction, as the analysis indicates. The study analyzes the Yourcenarian queer textual strategies with reference to concepts such as the epistemology and rhetoric of the closet, and the structure of the open secret as a part of the rhetoric of queer or non-straight sexuality. The present investigation puts the queer, non-normative representations of gender and sexuality in the centre of the Yourcenarian oeuvre and studies, ascertaining the strong bond between Yourcenar's work and the history, tradition, and the modern strategies of representing male homosexuality and queerness.

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The subject of my research is the romantic dating culture, the practice of 'going with', among preadolescents ('tweens') in Finland during the 1990s. Preadolescence is a cultural construction of the post-industrial period, experienced by school students between the ages of 7 to 13. Deemed by researchers as a shallow, unchallenging and uninteresting period, it has been shadowed in previous studies by early childhood and puberty. This study combines paradigms of the folkloristic research of children's lore, which began in the 1970s, with those of later, turn-of-the-century girls study. The phenomena of romantic girl culture are studied in several ways, through ample and varied subject materials collected in different places at different times. The research material was collected directly from schoolchildren through interviews, questionnaires and the observations of preadolescents' behavior in discos, among other methods. Part of the material consists of reminiscent thematic writings and parts have been quoted from tween message boards. A general picture of romantic preadolescent dating culture is formed in this study from five previously published articles and a summary. The influence of western culture, with its respect for relationships, is evident in tween dating culture. Seven- to thirteen-year olds use the elements of the society around them to construct an appropriate way for themselves to 'go out' with someone. Many expressions in preadolescent dating culture are contrary to the models of adult relationships. For example, a couple isn't necessarily expected to meet each other even once, or the other party, the boy, doesn't even need to know he's dating someone. Girls organize and experience relationships by playing card fortune-telling, calculating 'Love Percentages', and other methods. Categorizing tween dating culture and its related emotional qualities from an adult point of view as simply a play is one example of the hierarchical system of generations where childhood emotions, actions and conceptions of reality aren't valued as highly as the 'real life' of adults. Lowest on the totem pole are little girls, who in this study get their voices backed up by the researcher's adulthood and research-based sisterhood. Keywords: childhood, children's lore, dating culture, girls and boys, girls study, fortune-telling games, preadolescence/tweens

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Under the power of passion. The age of nervousness in Minna Canth s works This research contemplates the psychology of Minna Canth s characters through the historical image of man in late 19th century Europe. The central operative term of the study is passion , understood as a twofold philosophical concept that includes both desire and suffering. The method of this study is historical and contextual. The study interprets the passions and the psychology of Canth s characters as they were understood in their own time. The indicator of the relevant contexts is the realist and naturalist genre of Canth s works. New research on the genre of the time is also the basis of a new kind of psychological approach to Canth s works. The most important context of passion in Canth s works is the positivistic and pathological image of man at the end of the 19th century. Then, passion was widely discussed, and was perceived as a physiological phenomenon that influenced humans neurologically and caused different kinds of physiological symptoms and nervous disorders. But at the same time, passion was understood as a manifestation of human instincts and drives. The naturalistic literature of the day aimed at creating deterministic studies of human morality and psychology following Émile Zola s application of experimental science methods in his writing. The pathological image of man is most explicitly manifested in Canth s formerly unknown short story Lääkäri (Doctor, 1891), in which a doctor who is interested in psychology visits a jail to meet a peculiar criminal, a girl who feels no remorse for her multiple crimes. In other works of Canth the medically motivated viewpoint is more hidden in the deterministic narrative and depiction of the characters. The present study approaches the passion in Minna Canth s works through five thematic chapters, in witch characters are interpreted suffering from blind love, ennui, crippling romantic idealism, melancholy, guilt and nostalgia, and their stories can be prescribed as medical histories which depict the born of the passion and its development towards ruin. All protagonists are also manifestations of their own time. Canth criticises the modern life and its demands as well as social defects through the tragic stories of individuals. The study demonstrates that Canth did not, like previous research has suggested, wait until the 1890s before writing works of a psychological nature but had already written according to the psychological paradigm of her time in Työmiehen vaimo (1885). The social and psychological interests intertwine in Canth s works and are not exclusionary as has formerly been interpreted. Canth is also critical of the medical power implicit in the naturalist experimental method and this shows itself especially in her depiction of working class women.

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Lumometsän syli, Anni Swanin satusymbolismi 1896-1923 on suomenkielisen satukirjallisuuden poetiikkaa ja 1900-luvun alun modernia naiseutta selvittävä feministiseen tutkimustraditioon liittyvä tutkimus. Sen kohteena ovat lasten- ja nuortenkirjailija Anni Swanin (1875-1958) satukokoelmat vuosilta 1901-1923 ja Uusi Suometar -lehden sadunomaiset novellit vuosilta 1896-1904. Tutkimus tuo uutta tietoa lastenkirjallisuuden osalta 1900-luvun alun modernin ihmisen problematiikasta. Se sisältää naissubjektin kehityskaaren ja sisäisen kasvun kohti naistaiteilijuutta. Yksityiskohtaisen tarkastelun kohteina ovat sadut Veli ja sisar (1917), Ihmekukka (1905), Marjaanan helmikruunu (1912), Aaltojen salaisuus (1901), Jääkukka (1905), Tyttö ja kuolema (1917), Merenkuningatar ja hänen poikansa (1905), Lumolinna (1905) ja Tarina Kultasirkasta (1901). Tutkimuksessa tarkastellaan Swanin satujen poeettista kieltä ja naiseuden tematiikkaa ranskalaisen postmodernin ajan feministisen viitekehyksen valossa. Siinä keskeisiä ovat Julia Kristevan psykoanalyyttispohjaiset näkemykset ja Hélène Cixous´n sekä Luce Irigarayn ajatukset feminiinisestä kirjoituksesta. Sadut kontekstualisoidaan ajankohdan symbolistiseen taidevirtaukseen ja Suomen taiteen kultakauteen. Satuja tulkitaan naiskirjailijan lajina ja erityisenä naisen metaforisen ilmaisun muotona. Satujen feministinen lukutapa purkaa perinteisiä lukemiskonventioita ja merkitsee satutekstin lukemista "toisin". Se avaa varhaista modernia naiseutta ja sille ominaista naisen ilmaisukielen erityisyyttä sekä mykkää ei-kielellistä, melankolian ilmaisua. Tutkimus tuo esiin uudenlaisen naiskirjailijan aistimusvoimaisen kielen. Swanin satusymbolismi on luonnon kauneuden synesteettista ja aistimusvoimaista kerrontaa, jolle on luonteenomaista aistiestetiikka, metaforisuus, metonymisyys ja metamorfoosit. Swan vahvistaa osaltaan naisen sankaruutta, omaa ilmaisukieltä ja ääntä. Tuloksena paljastuu satuperinteeseen verrattuna uudenlaisia tyttöyden, äitiyden, naistaiteilijuuden ja perheen malleja ja niiden representaatioita. Satumallit osoittautuvat aikanaan moderneiksi tyttösankareiksi, osin ambivalenteiksi uudenlaista naiseutta ja suhteessa oloa heijastaviksi ja ovat siten varhaisia feministisen sadun tunnusmerkkejä. Tutkimus selvittää, miten Swan rakentaa omaperäisen satusymboliikan. Satumetsä on luonnonkauniin suomalaismetsän symbolinen mielenmaisema ja samanaikaisesti sadun myyttis-symbolinen topos. Swanin luontokäsitys sisältää luonnonsuojelun ja varhaisen ekokriittisen näkemyksen. Tutkimus osoittaa Swanin satujen kytkeytyvän 1900-luvun alun modernismiin ja Suomen taiteen kultakauteen. Swan on suomenkielisen symbolistisen taidesadun kehittäjä ja feministisen sadun aloittaja.

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The Struggle for Eros: On Love and Gender in the Pahlen Series The present dissertation examines how gender, sexuality and motherhood are constructed in the novel series Fröknarna von Pahlen (The Misses von Pahlen, I VII, 1930 1935) by the Swedish author Agnes von Krusenstjerna. The aim of the study is to analyze how the Pahlen series relates to the discourses on gender and sexuality circulating in the 1930s, and how the series opens a dialogue with the feminist thinking of the time especially with the book Lifslinjer I (Love and Marriage, 1903) by the Swedish author Ellen Key. Fröknarna von Pahlen holds a central position in the research on Agnes von Krusenstjerna partly due to the literary debate that the novel series triggered. The debate was connected to the development taking place in the Swedish society in the beginning of the 1930s, in the so-called second phase of the Modern Breakthrough. Sweden was at that time characterized by struggle over the definitions of gender, sexuality and parenthood, and this struggle is also visible in the Pahlen series. The literary debate took place in 1934 1935 and it began after an article by the modernist writer Karin Boye was published in Social-Demokraten on 28 January 1934. In her polemic article, Boye saw the Pahlen series as a sign that the family institution is on the verge of a breakdown and with it the whole moral system that has come to existence through it . Boye went on to state that Krusenstjerna only sees and describes and that she explores neither new literary forms nor new values. Boye wrote the article before the last two parts of the novel series were published, so obviously she could not discuss the utopian vision characterizing those parts. This study, however, strives to demonstrate that Krusenstjerna not only sees and describes, but that she like many of her contemporary female colleagues appears to take the request of Friedrich Nietzsche to revaluate all values seriously. Like the works of her contemporaries, Krusenstjerna s Pahlen series is marked by a double vision on the one hand a critique of the prevailing social order, and on the other hand a dream of a new world and a new human being. In this research the vision of the Pahlen series is characterized as queer in order to emphasize that the series not only criticizes the prevailing gender order and its morals, but is also open for new ways of doing gender, parenthood, and family.

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Typically only a limited number of consortiums are able to competitively bid for Public Private Partnership (PPP) projects. Consequently, this may lead to oligopoly pricing constraints and ineffective competition, thus engendering ex ante market failure. In addressing this issue, this paper aims to determine the optimal number of bidders required to ensure a healthy level of competition is available to procure major infrastructure projects. The theories of Structure-Conduct-Performance (SCP) paradigm; Game Theory and Auction Theory and Transaction Cost Economics are reviewed and discussed and used to produce an optimal level of competition for major infrastructure procurement, that prevents market failure ex ante (lack of competition) and market failure ex post (due to asymmetric lock-in).

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Objective: To examine flying foxes (Pteropus spp.) for evidence of infection with Menangle virus. Design: Clustered non-random sampling for serology, virus isolation and electron microscopy (EM). Procedure: Serum samples were collected from 306 Pteropus spp. in northern and eastern Australia and tested for antibodies against Menangle virus (MenV) using a virus neutralisation test (VNT). Virus isolation was attempted from tissues and faeces collected from 215 Pteropus spp. in New South Wales. Faecal samples from 68 individual Pteropus spp. and four pools of faeces were examined by transmission EM following routine negative staining and immunogold labelling. Results: Neutralising antibodies (VNT titres ≥ 8) against MenV were detected in 46% of black flying foxes (P. alecto), 41% of grey-headed flying foxes (P. poliocephalus), 25% of spectacled flying foxes (P. conspicillatus) and 1% of little red flying foxes (P. scapulatus) in Australia. Positive sera included samples collected from P. poliocephalus in a colony adjacent to a piggery that had experienced reproductive disease caused by MenV. Virus-like particles were observed by EM in faeces from Pteropus spp. and reactivity was detected in pooled faeces and urine by immunogold EM using sera from sows that had been exposed to MenV. Attempts to isolate the virus from the faeces and tissues from Pteropus spp. were unsuccessful. Conclusion: Serological evidence of infection with MenV was detected in Pteropus spp. in Australia. Although virus-like particles were detected in faeces, no viruses were isolated from faeces, urine or tissues of Pteropus spp.

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My sister describes the state of something being a psychological or personal 'issue' - such as a trauma, compulsion, phobia, or obsession - as having 'brain spaghetti'. For example, apparently she has spaghetti about me pinning her down as a child and tickling her until she screamed for mercy. She knows this because when her spouse tried to do the same, the experience she had as a child came flooding back as a complex tangle of fears, feelings, and mental images. Notwithstanding the trauma inflicted on a sibling in my youth, the spaghetti metaphor is a simple but useful tool for explaining how complex our experiences are, and I bring it up here because I believe a lot of people have spaghetti about love. So much so, that often love becomes distorted, sometimes to the point of making one completely blind to manipulation and abuse. Part of the blame for 'love spaghetti' can be allotted to media depictions of romance and gender, which helps entrench and maintain our deeply held beliefs about what relationships should look like.

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An elasticity solution has been obtained for a long circular sandwich cylindrical shell subjected to axisymmetric radial ring load using Love's stress function approach. Numerical results are presented for different ratios of modulus of elasticity of the layers. The results obtained from this analysis have been compared with those obtained from sandwich shell theory due to Fulton.

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Most musicians choose a career in music based on their love of the art and a desire to share it with others. However, being a performing musician is highly demanding. Despite considerable evidence of the great frequency of performance-related problems (e.g. debilitating performance anxiety) among professional musicians or aspiring musicians in the current Western classical music tradition these problems are seldom discussed openly. The existing system offers musicians very little help in learning how to build sustainable performance success into their musical career. This study it is first of its kind in Finland which addresses the issue on larger scale in a systematic way. I devised the HOPE intervention (Holistically-Oriented Top Performance and Well-Being Enhancement), in order to learn how to integrate professional peak performance and a sense of personal well-being into the lives and careers of musicians. Unlike most interventions in previous research, the HOPE intervention is explicitly holistic and aims at enhancing the whole musician, not just alleviating performance anxiety. Earlier research has not in principle focused on musicians´ psychological well-being or on their subjective perceptions. The main purpose of the study is to understand the perceived impacts of the specially devised HOPE intervention on the participants and particularly in four key areas: performing, playing or singing well-being, and overall (performing, playing or singing and well-being combined). Furthermore, it is hoped that a deeper understanding of performers´ development will be gained. The research method is interdisciplinary and mainly qualitative. The primary data consist of a series of linked questionnaires (before and after the intervention) and semi-structured follow-up interviews collected during action research-oriented HOPE intervention courses for music majors in the Sibelius Academy. With the longitudinal group called Hope 1, the core data were collected during a nine month HOPE intervention course and from follow-up interviews conducted six months later in 2003-2004. The core data of Hope 1 (nine participants) are compared with the perceived impacts on fifty-three other participants in the HOPE courses during the period since their inception, 2001-2006. The focus is particularly on participants´ subjective perceptions. Results of the study suggest that the HOPE intervention is beneficial in enhancing overall performance capacity, including music performance, and a personal sense of well-being in a music university setting. The findings indicate that within all key areas significant positive changes take place between the beginning and the end of a HOPE intervention course. The longitudinal data imply that the perceived positive changes are still ongoing six months after the HOPE intervention course is finished. The biggest change takes place within the area of performing and the smallest, in participants´ perception of their playing or singing. The main impacts include reduced feelings of stress and anxiety (an enhanced sense of well-being) as well as increased sense of direction and control in one's life. Since the results of the present research gave no other reason to believe otherwise, it is to be expected that the HOPE intervention and the results of the study can be exploited in other areas of human activity as well, especially where continuous professional top performance is a prerequisite such as in business or sports. Keywords: performance enhancement, professional top performance, subjective well-being, subjective perceptions, holism, coaching, music performance anxiety, studying music, music.

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The parenthood experience of a mother with a disabled child and the meaning of the social environment and parent-professional partnerships The importance of parental guidance when a family has a child with a disability or autism has been pointed out by several studies. The present research was based on the premise that by supporting the mother we can help the whole family to cope better and the professionals in day care or at school are able to support parents. The starting point was the subjective experience, which is also the central focus of the phenomenological method. The purpose of this study was firstly to describe the experience of the mother and the dialogue between mother and educational professionals. Secondly it was the task of this research to discover what kind of support and information the mother obtains from her social environment. At the background of this study there was the ecological theory of Bronfenbrenner, the ecocultural approach by Gallimore and the interactive examination of family that take into consideration the whole environment and personal situation. The research data was collected by interviewing the mothers, the day care personnel and the teachers at school. In this research there were a total of 32 interviews and 24 informants: 10 mothers who have a child with a disability and/or autism, 8 professionals in day care and 6 teachers at school. This study was longitudinal because the same mothers were interviewed twice, first in 1998 and then after five years in 2003. It was thus possible to get information on whether their life situation had changed and the nature of those changes. The data of this study was analysed by the method of phenomenological psychology that was applied for this study. The findings indicated that all mothers had experienced many complicated emotional feelings such as: anger, mourning, fear and sadness as well as love and bonding. It can be said that several human feelings existed at the same time. Mothers experienced that the support of the social environment, for example, relatives, families in the same situation and persons taking care of the child had significant meaning for their coping. However the life situation among the mothers varied. Mostly mothers received valuable support for their parenthood and they have adopted a strong emotion for manage ring. Mothers with an autistic child were more stressed than mothers with a mentally retarded child. A few mothers had numerous problems with taking care of their child and they did not get enough help. Same mothers were very exhausted too and the situation was quite the same after five years, when their child was teenager. All mothers said that after starting school the support for the family had significally diminished. Mothers said that dialogue with teacher got on without problems, but there were meetings seldom, so it wasn´t possible to get enough support for their parenthood. Keywords: parenthood, motherhood, disability, early special education, family-centred.

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The main focus of this research was to describe the educational purpose of Christian schools within their operation culture. The Christian schools founded in Finland can be seen as part of a greater movement in Europe. In this research the dialogue and encounter in the educational scheme of Finnish Christian schools were examined by asking three research questions: 1. What is the nature of the dialogue in education in Finnish Christian schools? 2. How do the teachers describe themselves as educators? 3. What are the special characteristics in the operation culture of a Christian school? The educational relationship was regarded as fundamental and in the background reflected the absolute value of each student. Communication skills were viewed as essential in the building of relationships, which also included emotion communication skills as a broader view. The teachers expressed their comprehension of the meaning of the dialogue in the building of a relationship with practical examples. Students learned to understand one another's experiences by discussion and listening to one another. The values that created a connection were mutual appreciation, honesty, taking the other one into account, and the ability for empathy. Caring was regarded as a relationship between people, as well as a genuine mutual encounter, in which all parties would listen to one another and be heard by others. The respondents thought that individual attention and time were the keys to reaching well-being and an encounter. Students' commitment to the community was supported by mutual agreements, identifying with the common world, and encounters. The appearance of Christian love agape was named as the basis for an educational relationship. The answers emphasised shared everyday life at school. According to the teachers, the willingness for personal growth enabled encounters, although growth as such was often regarded as difficult. Cognitive emphasising and emotional experiencing from a dynamic perspective, were the means by which students' ethical understanding was comprehended. The teachers named three key factors to create a confidential relationship: a respectful attitude, courage, and genuineness. Within the school operational environment, a sense of community was emphasised, in which each student was taken into account individually. The active role of parents was an essential part of the school culture. The administration of the schools appeared committed. The additional pressure in school work came from efforts to ensure the official status of the school, as well as the large amount of administrative work involved in a private school. According to the research data, there was no evidence to support any elitism that is often associated with private schools.

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Michael and Helen Whelan believed that life after the birth of their first child would be the most amazing adventure. But at 14 months of age, their precious son Charlie's development seemed to stall and Michael and Helen began to realise that something was wrong. Referred to a paediatrician by their GP, they were given the shattering news: Charlie was autistic. For Michael and Helen, this diagnosis was bewildering, frightening and heartbreaking; neither was really sure what autism was or what it meant to Charlie's, and their family's, future. The Other Country is Michael Whelan's account of what happened next - the obstacles they faced, the treatments they tried and the people they met. The Whelans story is one of triumphs and setbacks, of tests and uncertainties, and above all, of dedication and love.

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This paper draws on the theoretical arguments outlined in Hayes (2014) to frame critical analyses of two real life domestic violence narratives. The authors are both academic criminologists and victims/survivors of domestic violence, but within differing contexts – one a conventional heterosexual relationship, the other a female same-sex relationship. Their experiences are intertwined in an extensive collaborative auto-ethnographic analysis that spans seven years of working and socialising together, in which each provided a sounding board and support for the other. The analysis therefore documents two personal journeys. The academic and theoretical are intertwined with the personal and subjective to elicit an evocative and yet empirically validated study. The theoretical underpinnings of romantic love distortion, misogyny and sexism are used to frame these experiences of domestic violence and the differing sexualities of the authors provide a rich context for exploring the ways in which domestic violence victimisation experiences are impacted by gender, sexuality, and heteronormative discourses of love, sex and relationships.