"Valehtelu ei auta, mutta kaikkea ei kannata kertoa." : Kertomatta jättäminen parisuhteen vuorovaikutuskontekstissa

Topic avoidance in romantic relationships has not been researched before in Finnish speech communication research, and this study was expected to increase the understanding of a phenomenon that acquires relatively dramatic attributes in everyday conversation. The aim of this study was to describe topic avoidance based on what was told in the interviews, and to describe the beliefs concerning functional or dysfunctional relational communication that can be interpreted from the interviewees' speech when they talk about topic avoidance. The theoretical reference frame of this study consists of the Communication Privacy Management Theory, relational dialectics, and earlier, mostly American research on topic avoidance. Ten Finnish people aged 22-31, who all had previous experience on one or more marital or common-law relationships were interviewed for this study. Additional material for the study was gathered from the interviewees by using the role playing method to describe interactional events where something essential is left unsaid in the context of romantic relationship. The following values were attributed to functional communication in romantic relationships: openness, equality, honesty, trust and positivity. The dialectical nature of the phenomenon being researched is evident in the way that along with openness, the interviewees talked about excessive openness that should occasionally be avoided in the context of relational communication by leaving things unsaid. Topic avoidance was seen both as a conscious strategic communication for managing privacy, and as an uncontrollable force of nature that at its worst destroys the relationship. When topic avoidance is seen as strategic communication, the choice concerning what is left unsaid is made by weighing the following dimensions asgainst each other: risks/ benefits (for self, relationship), protects/ does not protect (self, partner, relationship), burdens/ does not burden (self, partner, relationship), honesty/ dishonesty, responsibility lies with self/ responsibility does not lie with self. Topic avoidance was acceptable if it was used in order to preserve the relationship, as opposed to gaining power in the relationship or causing insecurity for the partner. The acceptability of topic avoidance varied according to whether it differed from lying or not. When the interviewees talk about topic avoidance, their speech can be interpreted to mean that in spite of uncontrollability, communicative choices can be made in relational communication and that skills concerning communication in romantic relationships can be learned.

Dialogisuus ja kohtaaminen : Tutkimus kristillisten koulujen toimintakulttuurista kasvatussuhteen näkökulmasta

The main focus of this research was to describe the educational purpose of Christian schools within their operation culture. The Christian schools founded in Finland can be seen as part of a greater movement in Europe. In this research the dialogue and encounter in the educational scheme of Finnish Christian schools were examined by asking three research questions: 1. What is the nature of the dialogue in education in Finnish Christian schools? 2. How do the teachers describe themselves as educators? 3. What are the special characteristics in the operation culture of a Christian school? The educational relationship was regarded as fundamental and in the background reflected the absolute value of each student. Communication skills were viewed as essential in the building of relationships, which also included emotion communication skills as a broader view. The teachers expressed their comprehension of the meaning of the dialogue in the building of a relationship with practical examples. Students learned to understand one another's experiences by discussion and listening to one another. The values that created a connection were mutual appreciation, honesty, taking the other one into account, and the ability for empathy. Caring was regarded as a relationship between people, as well as a genuine mutual encounter, in which all parties would listen to one another and be heard by others. The respondents thought that individual attention and time were the keys to reaching well-being and an encounter. Students' commitment to the community was supported by mutual agreements, identifying with the common world, and encounters. The appearance of Christian love agape was named as the basis for an educational relationship. The answers emphasised shared everyday life at school. According to the teachers, the willingness for personal growth enabled encounters, although growth as such was often regarded as difficult. Cognitive emphasising and emotional experiencing from a dynamic perspective, were the means by which students' ethical understanding was comprehended. The teachers named three key factors to create a confidential relationship: a respectful attitude, courage, and genuineness. Within the school operational environment, a sense of community was emphasised, in which each student was taken into account individually. The active role of parents was an essential part of the school culture. The administration of the schools appeared committed. The additional pressure in school work came from efforts to ensure the official status of the school, as well as the large amount of administrative work involved in a private school. According to the research data, there was no evidence to support any elitism that is often associated with private schools.