Lola and George Gruenthal in Neu-Ulm Portraits Family

"When will you come back?" (written in German on verso)

Romantic terrorism? Survivor narratives of psychological and emotional tactics of domestic violence

This paper draws on the theoretical arguments outlined in Hayes (2014) to frame critical analyses of two real life domestic violence narratives. The authors are both academic criminologists and victims/survivors of domestic violence, but within differing contexts – one a conventional heterosexual relationship, the other a female same-sex relationship. Their experiences are intertwined in an extensive collaborative auto-ethnographic analysis that spans seven years of working and socialising together, in which each provided a sounding board and support for the other. The analysis therefore documents two personal journeys. The academic and theoretical are intertwined with the personal and subjective to elicit an evocative and yet empirically validated study. The theoretical underpinnings of romantic love distortion, misogyny and sexism are used to frame these experiences of domestic violence and the differing sexualities of the authors provide a rich context for exploring the ways in which domestic violence victimisation experiences are impacted by gender, sexuality, and heteronormative discourses of love, sex and relationships.

Portrait of four generations of women: Henny Molling nee Meyerhof, Elizabeth Gottschalk, Julie Meyerhof nee Oppenheimer and Therese Gottschalk nee Molling Portraits; Family

From left to right: Henny Molling, born Meyerhof, Elizabeth Gottschalk, Julie Meyerhof born Oppenheimer, and Therese Gottschalk, born Molling.

Samuel and Eva Baeck nee Placzek with unidentified woman holding child in background Portraits; Family

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The photographer Harry Polk outdoors with his daughter Grace Polk Portraits Family

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Portrait of Hugo Pollak with wife Thekla Lichtenstadt Pollak and their children Hans Pollak and Zdenka (Mimi) Pollak seated outdoors Portraits Family

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Unidentified family dressed in costume; Milan.

Handwritten caption: Mein Bruder Eduard links und Familie in Mailand Italien

Unidentified women and man Portraits Family

Handwritten on verso: Jetzt sind wir wieder vergnuegt und gluecklich zusammen. Herzlichst Deine (Illegible name Neni or Leni?)

Portrait of Hilde Rosenbaum with her father Julius Rosenbaum in military uniform Portraits Family

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Tombstone of the Benno Molling family on the Jewish cemetery; An der Strangriede, Hannover, Germany. Cemeteries Tombs

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Family and guests at Aenny Catzenstein nee Gottschalk's 80th birthday; London.

Front row l-r: Francine Durand, Beatrice Durand and Aenny Catzenstein, the boys are Ara-Serge Donabedian and Patrick Matthiesen and the adults are Susan Prior, Francis Matthiesen, Maren Matthiesen, Nino Fabri and Olga Matthiesen,