Nothing Normal Happens to Me: True Stories of a Journey from Madness to Motherhood

Written in first person, NOTHING NORMAL HAPPENS TO ME is a memoir in essays that traces the narrator’s journey from self-destruction to creation. Part one encompasses the narrator’s lost years, after she breaks free from the tyranny of her mentally ill mother and goes to live on her own at 17. Part two provides context for those bad girl years, exploring her childhood when she identified with her histrionic mother. Part three comprises stories about the narrator’s years of awakening when she seeks out transcendence, faith, and a family of her own. The pieces vary tonally and stylistically as they attempt to trace the maturing voice of the narrator. Like SEEKING RAPTURE: SCENES FROM A WOMAN’S LIFE by Kathryn Harrison, this collection centers on a young girl, who without her mother’s love, struggles to love herself. It is both a cautionary tale and a story of redemption.

The Timing of Motherhood While Earning a PhD in Engineering

In spite of tremendous efforts, women are still under-represented in the field of science. Post-graduate education and early tenure track employment are part of the academic career establish-ment in research and development during periods that usually overlap with family formation. Though women tend to leave science mainly after obtaining their PhD, and the timing of mother-hood plays a vital role in a successful research career, qualitative data on this life period are scarce. Our paper focuses on how the normative and institutional contexts shape female PhD engineering students’ family plans. The research was based on intersections of life course and risk and uncertainty theories. Using qualitative interviews we explored how contradicting social norms of childbearing cause tensions in postgraduate students’ lives, and how the different uncer-tainties and risks permeate young researchers’ decisions on early life events. We concluded that, despite the general pattern of delaying motherhood among higher educated women, these students struggle against this postponement, and they hardly have any good options to avoid risk stem-ming from uncertainties and from some characteris-tics of studying and working in engineering. Find-ings of this research may call the attention of stake-holders to possible intervention points.

Teenage motherhood: where you live is also important. A prospective cohort study of 14,000 women

The United Kingdom has among the highest rates of teenage motherhood (TM) in Western Europe. The relationship to individual social and material disadvantage is well established but the influence of area of residence is unclear. We tested for additional TM risks in deprived areas or in cities. The Northern Ireland Longitudinal Study was used to identify 14,055 nulliparous females (15-18). TM risk was measured using multilevel logistic regression, adjusting for health status, religion, family structure, socio-economic status, rurality and employment-based area deprivation. Most variation in TM was driven by individual, household and socioeconomic factors with the greatest proportion of mothers in low value or social rented accommodation. Living in an area with fewer employment opportunities was associated with elevated TM risk (most vs. least deprived, ORadj = 1.98 [1.49, 2.63]), as was urban dwelling (urban vs. intermediate, ORadj = 1.42 [1.13, 1.78]). We conclude that area of residence is a significant independent risk factor for TM. Interventions should be targeted towards the most deprived and urban areas and to those in the lowest value housing.

The Political Economy of Reproduction: Motherhood, Work and the Home in Neoliberal Britain

This thesis investigates how the processes and practices of reproduction have been transformed not only by the ascendant political rationality of neoliberalism but also by women’s struggles that have reconfigured motherhood, the domestic home and the gendered organisation of employment. Through exploring both the 1970s feminist demand for “free 24- hour nurseries” and the contemporary provision of extended, overnight and flexible childcare, care that is often referred to as “24-hour childcare”, the research contributes to feminist understandings of the gendered and racialised class dynamics inside and outside the home and the wage. The research repositions the ‘Woman Question’ as, yet again unavoidable and necessary for comprehending and intervening in the brutalising consequences of capitalist accumulation. Situated within the Marxist feminist tradition, the work of reproduction is understood as a cluster of tasks, affective relations and employment that have historically been constructed and experienced as ‘women’s work’. The interrelation between the subjectivity of motherhood and the political economy of reproduction is analysed through a feminist genealogy of 24-hour childcare in Britain. Using ethnographic encounters, archival research and interview data with mothers and childcare workers, the research tells a story about the women who have worked both inside and outside the home, raised children, cooked and cleaned, and who, both historically and in the present, continue to create an immense amount of wealth and value. As women's labour market participation has steadily increased over the last 40 years, the discourse of reproduction has shifted to one in which motherhood is increasingly constructed as a choice. Within neoliberal discourse the decision to have a child is constructed as a private matter for which individuals bear the costs and responsibility. The thesis argues that, as a result of motherhood being constructed more and more as something that is chosen, the spaces of resistance and opposition towards motherhood have been limited and resistance has been individuated and privatised.

The motherhood career slide.

Men constitute 11 per cent of Scotland’s nursing workforce, yet they make up 27.6 per cent of senior management.

Announcing Motherhood

Introduction: Pregnancy is associated with experiences that integrated socio-cultural contexts of space and time, bring changes in family and/or maternal-fetal relationship. Parenthood is a generational task, and one of the most complex in humans. Aimo: To describe the construction of motherhood. Method: Cross-sectional qualitative study. We used the interview technique. Convenience sample of 10 pregnant women at the end of 3rd trimester. Results: The analysis of the narrative reveals four categories: a) conceiving pregnancy idea, b) imagining maternity, c) claiming herself through pregnancy and d) announcing attachment Conclusion: pregnant women essentially express positive and tipical feelings of pregnancy, seeming an healthy evolution. The transition to parenthood is underway, as well as a developing performance to the best role.

Parent decisions regarding paid work and care of the child

Australia has witnessed a continual increase in maternal employment over the past two decades, which has placed focus on child care- its effects on the child and on early childhood education and care policy and provision. The engagement of women in the paid workforce contributes to national economic development, and is recognised in government policy incentives such as cash subsidies and tax relief for child care fees. These incentives are targeted towards mothers, to encourage them to engage in paid work. Making a contribution to the family’s economy and to a mother’s economic self sufficiency are two key drivers for women’s engagement in satisfying paid work. Many women also seek to maintain a personal investment in the development of their career, simultaneously ensuring that the child is experiencing suitable care. Policies that support women’s choices for satisfying workforce engagement and care arrangements are prudent for ensuring productivity of the economy as well as for enhancing the wellbeing of parents and children (OECD, 2007). Policies that provide family friendly employment arrangements, paid parental leave, and child care support, directly affect maternal employment decisions. Availability of family friendly employment policies is viewed as one way to not only promote gender equity in employment opportunities but also support the wellbeing of children and families (OECD, 2007). Yet there are not comprehensive and coherent policies on work and family in Australia. Australia is due to implement its first paid parental leave scheme in January, 2011. At the time of the data collection of this research, June 2007 to December 2008, Australia had no statutory provision for paid parental leave. To date, most research has focused on the consequences of paid work and care decisions made by women. Far less is known about the processes of decision-making and reasons underlying women’s choices. Investigation of what is most salient for women as they make decisions regarding engagement in paid work, and care for their child is important in order to inform policy and practices related to parental leave, family friendly employment and care for the child. This prospective longitudinal research was of 124 Australian expectant first-time mothers who completed questionnaires in their third trimester of pregnancy, and again at six and twelve months postpartum. First-time expectant mothers' decisions regarding engaging in paid work and selecting care for their child represent those of a group who are invested in motherhood and have usually had direct experience of engaging in paid work. They therefore provide an important insight into society’s idealised views about motherhood and the emotional and social uncertainty of making personal decisions where the consequences of such decisions are unknown. These decisions reflect public beliefs about the role of women in contributing to the country’s productivity and decisions about providing for the economic and emotional care needs of their family. As so little is known about the reasoning and processes of decision-making of women’s choices regarding paid work and care of the child this research was designed to capture expectant first-time mother’s preferred options for engaging in paid work and the care of their child, and investigate their actual decisions made at six and 12 months postpartum. To capture preferred options, decisions and outcomes of decisions regarding paid work and care of the child a prospective longitudinal research design was utilised. This design had three important components that addressed key limitations in the extant literature. First the research commenced in pregnancy in order to investigate preferences and beliefs about paid work and care and to examine baseline data that may influence decisions made as the women returned to paid work. Second the research involved longitudinal tracking from the antenatal time point to six and 12 months postpartum in order to identify the influences on decisions made. Third the research measured outcomes of the decisions made at each time point. This research examined the intentions, preferences, beliefs, influences, and outcomes of the decisions about engagement in paid work and choice of care. The analyses examined factors predicting return to paid work, the timing of return and extent of engagement in paid work; the care for the child; satisfaction with paid work; satisfaction with care for the child, motherhood and fulfilment; and maternal wellbeing at six and 12 months postpartum. The factors of interest were both rational/economic (availability and extent of paid and unpaid maternity leave; flexible work patterns) and emotional/affective (career satisfaction, investment in motherhood, and concern with quality of care for the child). Results indicated a group preference, and realisation for, return to paid work within the first year after the birth of a child but with reduction in hours to part-time. Most women saw paid work not only as a source of income but also as source of personal satisfaction. There were four key themes arising from this research. First, the women strived to feel emotionally secure when deciding about engaging in paid work and care of the child. To achieve emotional security women made their decisions for paid work and care of the child differently. A woman’s decision for maternal employment is a function of her personal beliefs, preferences and context regarding paid work and care of the child. She adjusts her established work identity with her new identity as a mother. The second key theme from this research is that the women made their decisions for maternal employment in response to their personal context and there were different levels of opportunities between the women’s choices. There is inequity of entitlement regarding work conditions associated with a woman’s education level. This has implications for the woman’s engagement in paid work, and her child’s health and wellbeing. The third key theme is that the quality of the child’s care mattered to the women in the research. They preferred care provided by parents and/or relatives more than any other types of care. The fourth key theme identified that satisfaction and wellbeing outcomes experienced as a result of maternal employment decisions were a complex interaction between multiple factors that change across time with the ongoing development of the mother’s identity, and the development of the child. The implications for policy within Australia are that the employment of mothers in the workforce necessitates that non-parental care becomes a public concern, where there is universal access to good quality affordable care for every child, not just for those who can afford it. This is equitable and represents real choice while supporting the rights of the child (Thorpe, Cloney & Tayler, 2010), protecting and promoting the public interest (Cleveland & Krashinsky, 2010). Children’s health and wellbeing will be supported (Moore & Oberklaid, 2010) while children are in non-parental care, and they will be exposed to environments and experiences that support their learning and development. The significant design of the research enabled the trajectories of first-time expectant women to be tracked from the antenatal point to 12 months postpartum. But there were limitations: the small sample size, the over-representation of the sample being highly educated and the nature of a longitudinal research that is set within the economic, social and political context at that time. These limitations are discussed in relation to suggestions for future research.

Where the bridge is

Memoir excerpt

Composing maternal identities : the living realities of mothers with young adult-children in twenty-first century Australia

There is an abundance of books available on the topic of motherhood and mothering; the majority of these books focus on the vulnerability of babies and young children and the motherwork such vulnerability demands. In particular they focus on what it is right to do in the interests of the child, and particularly his or her growth and development. Such a focus is consistent in Western culture with modern moral frameworks where understandings of goodness have been assimilated to dimensions of human action rather than dimensions of human being, selfhood, or specific forms of life. As Charles Taylor has observed, much modern moral philosophy has focused =on what it is right to do rather than the nature of the good life‘ (1989, 13). The master narratives of motherhood and the prevailing social discourses of intensive1 and sacrificial2 mothering exemplify this view as such narratives and discourses depict =what mothers are expected to do [and] how mothers are supposed to be‘ (Nelson 2001, 140). From such infant/child-focused accounts a canonical maternal identity can be discerned; arguably, it is a restricted one. The majority of these books fail to address questions related to what it means be a mother in particular situated, existing, living realities. For instance, ask a mother with young children what being a mother means to her and she may speak of the challenges she faces balancing paid employment and her role as a mother, or the impact of the demands being made on her time and energy. However, ask a mother with young adult-children3 what being a mother means to her and she may speak in similar tones, but she may also speak in differing tones. For example, a "mature" mother may speak of the "empty nest", the "crowded house" and/or "its revolving front door". She may speak of issues related to the vulnerability of the long term marriage, elder care, or grandparenting, or even disillusionment and disenchantment. The purpose of this research is to explore the identity challenges and prospects of some mothers with young adult-children aged between 18 and 30 years of age in twenty-first century Australia. In interpreting the identity challenges and prospects this particular cohort of mothers encounter in their ordinary, everyday living, a diverse and particular range of maternal experiences.my own included5.have been traced, along with the social and ethical meanings ascribed in them. With an understanding and appreciation of voice as the medium which connects one's inner and outer worlds, this research illuminates the plurality of voices and the multiple layers of meaning in each of these mother's particular living and existing realities. Specifically, this research addresses the narrowly constructed, canonical maternal identity through a critical exploration and reflection on stories, shared in a research context, of the living realities of a group of self-identified "mature", middle-class, Australian mothers with children aged between 18 and 30 years of age6. By appraising the broader familial, historical, social, cultural, institutional, and, importantly, moral contexts in which these mothers are situated, 'thick descriptions' (Geertz 1973, 27)7 of maternal identities, and the challenges and prospects these mothers are negotiating, are provided. In terms of its ethical orientation, the frameworks which support and frame this research reject, repudiate and contest (Nelson 2001) the reduction of ethical concerns to individual or intellectual problems or dilemmas to be solved through the application of a theory derived from reasoned thinking. In dismissing deductive and =theoretical-juridical‘8 approaches, the individualistic orientation entrenched in contemporary Western moral thinking, expressed in the notion of '"what ought I to do" when faced with a problem, issue or dilemma of practical urgency' (Isaacs & Massey 1994, 1), is simultaneously rejected, repudiated and contested (Nelson 2001). In countering such understandings, this research reorients us to the illumination and articulation of who it is good to be, for each of these mothers, in allegiance with those goods which guide and inspire her orientations towards living a good life—a life which embraces and enhances the flourishing of herself and her significant others. With an understanding and appreciation that 'mind is never free of precommitment[—t]here is no innocent eye, nor is there one that penetrates aboriginal reality' (Bruner 1987, 32), this thesis is written with the voices of other interlocutors9. These interlocutors include the voices of my research participants whom I refer to as "research interlocutors", my textual "friends" — those scholars whose work resonates strongly with my orientations—as well as the myriad other voices that speak to mothers, for mothers and about mothers, such as those found in popular and mainstream press and culture. Sometimes these voices resonate; other times dissonance may be heard. In situating this research within these complementary frameworks, this research invites readers to join with me in considering, appreciating and appraising the narrow construction of maternal identity. I seek for this engagement, like the engagements with my research interlocutors, to be 'a meeting of voices, an authentic dialogue that is inclusive of the voices of all concerned participants' (Isaacs 2001, 6). I hope that the voices in this thesis resonate with yours (although, at times, you may feel some dissonance) and that together we can draw closer to the accounting, re-counting and re-stor(y)ing of maternal identities; like concentric circles of witness, the dialogue, ...will thus be expanded rippling into corners where one might both imagine, and least expect. Possibilities, then, are vast; the future exciting (Smith 2007, 397). This research is also shaped and guided by maternal scholarship, a relatively new field of inquiry known as 'motherhood studies' (O'Reilly 2011, xvii) which has its origins within the broader terrain of feminist scholarship. As a work of maternal scholarship, this thesis draws upon and continues the tradition of examining motherhood as it is experienced 'in a social context, as embedded in a political institution: in feminist terms' (Rich 1995, ix). It values mothers, their experiences, their stories, their lives. As such, this research is oriented towards 'matricentric feminism', a particular form of feminist inquiry, politics and theory which is consistent with and receptive to feminist frameworks of care and equal rights (O‘Reilly 2011, 25). A number of complementary conceptual frameworks have been engaged in this research with the thesis presented in three parts: the pre-figurative, configurative and re-configurative. As my particular living experiences provided the initial motivation for this research, an account of the challenges I experienced as a mother with young adult-children are outlined as a Prelude to this thesis. Attention then turns to Part One – Pre-figuring Maternal Identities in which the contextual, conceptual and methodological foundations underpinning this research are explored and outlined. In Chapter One, the prevailing cultural narratives and social discourses supporting and shaping the construction of the canonical maternal identity are outlined. Next, in setting the scholarly context, the critiques — arising from feminist and maternal scholarship — of motherhood as a patriarchal institution, mothering as experience, and mothering as work, are explored. As this research engaged with participants who are embedded in particular middle-class, heterosexual, familial and cultural structures, an exploration of family life cycle theory and main stream media accounts are also incorporated. The terrain in which "mature" mothering within an Australian context is experienced is also outlined, including the notions of "empty nests" and "crowded houses", grandparenting, elder care and women's midlife transition. Chapter Two gives an account of the conceptual ontological, ethical, identity and narrative frameworks underpinning this research. In setting the context for rich interpretations, the characteristics of being human10 are outlined before attention turns to our embodiment and embeddedness in our shared human condition11. From this point, attention then turns to understanding the moral form of human living12. In appreciating the vulnerability inherent in our shared human condition, the ways in which we may experience trouble in our lives is noted. The framing of identity constitution13 as complex, multi-faceted, relationally negotiated and composed is then outlined, followed by an understanding of why narrative is a valuable interpretive tool for interpreting and understanding human experiences. This chapter concludes with an appreciation of the ethical significance of storytelling. The research methodology is then outlined in Chapter Three. The rationale underpinning the adoption of the narrative interviewing technique of in-depth interviewing is explored. In exploring these methodological frameworks, the recruitment and interview processes involved in gathering and interpreting the recorded transcripts of ten Australian mothers with young adult-children are outlined. The method of analysis known as the Listening Guide14 best complements the multi-layered, pluri-vocal nature of narrative accounting. The final section of Chapter Three outlines The Guide, with one mother's recorded transcript used to illustrate this method's step-by-step process. Having gathered an understanding and appreciation of the pluri-vocal, multi-layered nature of narrative and identity constitution, the tone of this thesis changes in Part Two . Configuring Maternal Identities. This section consists of Chapters Four and Five and seeks to find meaning in, and make sense of, the differences and commonalities across these particular accounts. Chapter Four explores the living realities of four Australian mothers with young adult-children: Poppy, Honey, Lily and Heather. In presenting a thick description of these mothers' situated realities, the frameworks.the familial, social, cultural, historical and institutional backgrounds.which have supported and shaped each mother's experiences are illuminated. Simultaneously revealed through these particular accounts are the plurality of goods focusing and moving each mother to the moral form of life, a life of meaning and purpose. The harms challenging some mothers' moral motivations are also revealed in this chapter. Specifically illustrated in Chapter Four are the unique and qualitative differences of particular maternal identity configurations. Chapter Five reveals the commonalities amongst all of the research interlocutors' accounts. This chapter contests the individualistic orientation of many contemporary accounts of motherhood which are aimed at defining or contesting what a "good" mother ought to do. By turning away from such individualistic orientations, the chapter does not seek to define 'the content of obligation' (Taylor 1989, 3) but rather seeks to illuminate and articulate a richer, deeper understanding and appreciation of maternal be-ing and be-coming - that is, who it is good to be, for each of these mothers - in allegiance with those goods that focus and inspire her moral motivations. Part Three - Re-Configuring Maternal Identities, which is comprised of Chapter Six, draws this thesis to a close. In this final chapter, the preconceptions, conditions and aspirations for this mother-centred account of the living realities of a small, local cohort of mothers are reiterated. The insights gathered from the rich, descriptive accounts are illuminated and articulated, and the chapter closes with some suggestions for future research. In a Postlude, I reflect on how this research has been a transformative learning experience in my own life.an experience in which I have been able to not only deeply understand and appreciate the challenges and disorientation I was experiencing but also to identify and reorient my stance in relation to the good. In a practical sense, by offering thick descriptions of the living realities of this cohort of "mature" mothers, this research challenges the canonical maternal identity and questions its relevance for, and effect on, "mature" mothers' identity constitution. By bringing to light the complex existing realities of these particular mothers, this research critiques the canonical maternal identity by illustrating that each mother's life and her identity constitutions are complex, relationally negotiated and composed and that motherhood is an enduring way of being. Through these illustrations, this research engages with and extends understandings of difference feminism. This research, however, not only rejects, repudiates and contests (Nelson 2001) the narrowly defined canonical maternal identity. By illuminating and articulating the goods which shape and inspire these "mature" mothers' motherwork, this research offers a matricentric account which is consistent with and respectful of the particular, situated realities—the broader familial, social, institutional, but most importantly, moral values and frameworks—in which each mother‘s life is embedded and her motherwork oriented. By understanding and appreciating the complex and multiple webs of relationships in which each mother exists, this matricentric re-stor(y)ing of maternal experiences not only understands and appreciates the unique nature of each mother‘s existing realities, it is oriented to the continuing enhancing of the shared pursuit of the good which underpins particular maternal practices and particular maternal ways of being.

The sewing room

Poem

Deleuzian dolls : subverting identities through intergenerational collaborative drawing

This paper explores concepts of desire and rhizomatic working through a series of intergenerational collaborative drawing episodes. Particularly, mother/daughter relationships are examined via drawings created by the author and her young daughter. Drawings hold on their surface unpredictable connections to things experienced, known, conceptualized and imagined. In the context of this paper desire is seen to drive adults and children into expressing and making a mark, to make an imprint. Here, the prompts that inform a drawing are regarded as a rhizomatic network of chaotic actions and thoughts that connect each drawer to the tools, the paper and each other in unpredictable and mutable ways. The paper concludes by discussing how these intergenerational collaborative drawing episodes offer opportunities to re-imagine relationships, communications and learning in early childhood education.