Who’s to blame? How narcissists and ex-partners of narcissists make sense of romantic breakup

Objective: past research has shown relationship problems associated with narcissists’ excessive self-centeredness and lacking concern for others. Using romantic relationships as opportunities to self-enhance rather than caring about intimacy, narcissists are sensitive to shortcomings in their partners and quick to withdraw investment once relationships turn out to be less than perfect. Our research aimed to reveal whether narcissists are aware of their destructive relationship behavior or tend to put the blame for a failed relationship on their ex-partners. Conversely, do ex-partners of narcissists take the blame and feel responsible for the breakup or walk away convinced their narcissistic ex-partners’ behavior was just too unbearable? Method: 120 participants (19-59 yrs) who reported a recent romantic breakup completed a battery of questionnaires online, including measures of narcissism and self-esteem, as well as newly created scales assessing attributions for breakup. In addition to self-reports, participants retrospectively rated their ex-partners on adapted versions of the same measures. Results: narcissists made attributions to lacking relationship investment mostly in themselves and to a lesser extent in their partners. However, this pattern was reversed when self-esteem was controlled, with attributions to partner shortcomings outnumbering aspects of own destructive behavior. Narcissism perceived in the ex-partner was related to reports of lacking investment in oneself as well as the ex-partner, but controlling for self-esteem reduced the number of attributions to own shortcomings. Conclusion: our analyses revealed that narcissists do show some awareness of their contribution to a failed relationship, although controlling for self-esteem increased their blame of the ex-partner. In contrast, associations between perceived partner-narcissism and aspects of own lacking relationship investment became fewer when self-esteem was controlled for.

Gender Differences in Online Dating: What Do We Know So Far? A Systematic Literature Review

With millions of users worldwide, online dating platforms strive to assert themselves as powerful tools to find dates and form romantic relationships. However, significant differences exist in male and female use of this mate-matching technology with respect to motivation, preferences, self-presentation, interaction and outcomes. While existing research has routinely reported on gender differences in online dating, these insights remain scattered across multiple studies. To gain a systematic insight into existing findings, in this study we conduct a meta-review of existing research. We find that evolutionary theory generally holds true in online dating: Users still follow natural stereotypes when it comes to choosing a mate online. Physical attractiveness is the key criteria for men; while women, being much more demanding, prioritize socio-economic attributes when choosing a male partner. Together, our structured findings offer a deeper insight into the underlying dynamics of gender differences in online dating.

A view through gloomy glasses: accuracy and bias in relationships of narcissists

Narcissists’ perception of others is marked by a negative bias in the service of their own self-enhancement. The aim of this study was to determine whether narcissists’ negative bias extends to the perception of romantic partners too. In addition, we explored whether partners of narcissists succumb to specific perception biases as well. During 14 days, 86 couples completed measures of support given to and received from their partners. The results indicated that both male and female narcissists were more accurate in detecting negative support (e.g., blaming the partner for his or her problems) received from their partners, while female narcissists only were less accurate in perceiving altruistic support motives (e.g., truly enjoying to help the partner) of their male partner. Moreover, narcissists as well as their partners displayed a negative bias by underestimating the amount of altruistic support motives reported by each of them. On the other hand, partners of narcissists were positively biased as well and underestimated the negative support given by the narcissists. Results are discussed in relation to the self-regulatory goals of narcissists and of their partners and with respect to the possible impact of their accuracy and biases on the couple wellbeing.

Longitudinal associations between causal sexual relationships and stressful life events in emerging adults

Findings on the consequences of casual sexual relationships (CSR) are inconsistent and range from positive to negative outcomes. The longitudinal association between stressful live events and CSR was investigated in a random sample of 2844 Swiss emerging adults. Cross-lagged panel models with baseline, two- and five-year follow-up data showed that life events predicted more subsequent CSR across emerging adulthood. In contrast, CSR predicted life events only from the first to the second wave. Results suggest that the link between stressful life events and CSR was mainly explained by romantic breakups as stressful life event. Environment-related life events were not substantially associated with casual sexual relationships. Thus, engaging in CSR did not seem to be a general emotion-focused coping strategy in the context of life events nor can the engagement in casual sex be seen as a result of stressful life events affecting general self-regulation.