I must walk through the gate : an ontological necessity

This research is a self-study into my life as an athlete, elementary school teacher, leamer, and as a teacher educator/academic. Throughout the inquiry, I explore how my beliefs and values infused my lived experiences and ultimately influenced my constructivist, humanist, and ultimately my holistic teaching and learning practice which at times disrupted the status quo. I have written a collection of narratives (data generation) which embodied my identity as an unintelligent student/leamer, a teacher/learner, an experiential learner, a tenacious participant, and a change agent to name a few. As I unpack my stories and hermeneutically reconstruct their intent, I question their meaning as I explore how I can improve my teaching and learning practice and potentially effect positive change when instructing beginning teacher candidates at a Faculty of Education. At the outset I situate my story and provide the necessary political, social, and cultural background information to ground my research. I follow this with an in depth look at the elements that interconnect the theoretical framework of this self-study by presenting the notion of writing at the boundaries through auto ethnography (Ellis, 2000; Ellis & Bochner, 2004) and writing as a method of inquiry (Richardson, 2000). The emergent themes of experiential learning, identity, and embodied knowing surfaced during the data generation phase. I use the Probyn' s (1990) .. metaphor of locatedness to unpack these themes and ponder the question, Where is experience located? I deepen the exploration by layering Drake's (2007) KnowlDo/Be framework alongside locatedness and offer descriptions of learning moments grounded in pedagogical theories. In the final phase, I introduce thirdspace theory (Bhabha, 1994; Soja, 1996) as a space that allowed me to puzzle educational dilemmas and begin to reconcile the binaries that existed in my life both personally, and professionally. I end where I began by revisiting the questions that drove this study. In addition, Ireflect upon the writing process and the challenges that I encountered while immersed in this approach and contemplate the relevance of conducting a self-study. I leave the reader with what is waiting for me on the other side of the gate, for as Henry James suggested, "Experience is never limited, and it is never complete."

A Continuum of Traversing Lines: Youth Political Participation in Gaia Online

This qualitative research project uses a Deleuzo-Guattarian theoretical framework to address the question: “How are the politically oriented social forums in Gaia Online experienced as a continuum of overlapping of lines, including molar lines, lines of flight, and molecular lines?” Although smooth lines of flight may occur in Gaia, there are always mechanisms that work to re-territorialize them as more striated molar operations. Conversely, while more striated molar lines may be evident in Gaia, there are also smooth lines of flight that attempt to deterritorialize them as smooth space. Founded in 2003, Gaia is a virtual community in which members use 3D avatars to socialize with others, create content, and play games. Deleuze and Guattari (1987) have defined space with three systems: on one end is state-oriented static space, on the other end is nomadic fluid space, and situated in the middle is molecular space which contains both smooth and striating elements. While state-oriented striated space is based on routines, rules, and specifications, nomadic smooth space is flexible, always changing, and full of possibility. Some of the smoother operations that are evident in Gaia include becoming other, decentred communications, desire as resistance, and lines of flight. Some of the more striated operations include social reproduction of gender norms/expectations, capitalist mechanisms, violence and intolerance linked to categories and binaries (racism/sexism/ageism), the regulation of desire, and the organisation of bodies.