(Re)writing the other/self : autoethnography in the transcultural arena of representation

Abstract: In Imperial Eyes Mary Louise Pratt (1992: 7, emphasis original) defines autoethnography as "instances in which colonized subjects undertake to represent themselves in ways that engage with the colonizer's own terms ... in response to or in dialogue with . . . metropolitan representations." Although Pratt's conceptualization of autoethnography has much to offer post-colonial studies, it has received little attention in the field. In this thesis, I interrogate Pratt's notion of autoethnography as a theoretical tool for understanding the self-representations of subordinate peoples within transcultural terrains of signification. I argue that autoethnography is a concept that allows us to move beyond some theoretical dualisms, and to recognize the (necessary) coexistence of subordinate peoples' simultaneous accommodation of and resistance to dominant representations of themselves. I suggest that even when autoethnographic expressions seem to rely on or to reproduce dominant knowledges, their very existence as speech acts implicitly resists dominant discourses which objectify members of oppressed populations and re-create them as Native Informants. I use Pratt's concept to analyze two books by Islamic feminist sociologist Fatima Memissi. Memissi's Dreams ofTrespass and Scheherazade Goes West illustrate the simultaneity of accommodation and disruption evident in autoethnographic communication. Across the two books, Memissi shows herself renegotiating the discourses which discipline her (and her speech). She switches back and forth between the positions of reader and author, demonstrates the reciprocity of the disciplinary gaze (she looks back at her dominants, reading their own reading of her representation of her social group), and provides a model of autoethnographic dialogue.

A demonstration of educational craft : an outdoor educator's autoethnography

Ellis (2004) argues that auto ethnography is a methodology that begins with the researcher as the site of study. Employing a qualitative storytelling structure shows, instead of tells. As the audience reads, they are encouraged to relate the research to their experiences, provoking reflective knowledge development. As an outdoor educator, I began to question the nature of my craft and how it was being shaped by my personal educational philosophy. So, drawing on a reflective journal I kept while employed as an outdoor educator in 2007, three outdoor educators published narratives, and a historical review of newspaper articles about Ontario-based outdoor education, conducted an autoethnographic inquiry and built a fictional story about my craft. I exposed five faultlines or areas of ideological tension, shaping my views about outdoor education and my craft.

Living in the Skin That I Am: An Organizational Autoethnography of an Adult Educator's Plight to Survive the Stigma of Invisible and Episodic Disability in an Academy of Administritiva

Through the reflective lens of an adult educator with invisible and episodic disabilities, this paper has been written as an organizational autoethnography. Through a process of autoethnographical sensemaking, it is intended to illuminate important gaps in organizational theory. Feminist/relational care ethics, critical reflection, and transformative learning serve as the educational theories that comprise its framework. In telling my story, embodied writing and performance narrative are used to convey the felt existence of a body exposed through words—where my “abled” and “disabled” professional teaching and learning identities may be studied against the backdrop of organizational policies and procedures. Words used to describe unfamiliar experiences and situations shape meaning for which new meaning may emerge. At the conclusion of this paper, an alternative frame of reference—a view from the margins—may be offered to articulate authenticity in the expectancy of workplace equity for adult educators with disabilities. Taken collectively on a larger level, it is hoped that this research may provide a source of inspiration for systemic organizational change in adult learning environments.

Inviting Leadership From a Belfast Bedroom: Invitational Leadership in Contemporary Schools

Educational leadership is challenging, complex, and vitally important to student success. Despite the publication of theories, books, and research on school leadership, a perception of a chasm between theory and practice exists. However, the intentional consideration and implementation of theory can make an enormous impact on practice. This is revealed in this dissertation through the exploration of invitational leadership theory through an autoethnographic study of my leadership journey, as well as the intentionally inviting leadership of Billy Tate, a veteran school principal in Belfast, Northern Ireland. This dissertation uses an amalgamated methodology of interview and observational research embedded within an autoethnography to intimately explore invitational theory in practice through the lens of a new school principal in Southern Ontario and a veteran principal in Belfast. This study provides an intimate understanding of the impact and applicability of invitational educational leadership theory in two unique educational, political, and social contexts and draws conclusions from the consideration of and reflection upon my leadership and Billy Tate’s. This dissertation reveals invitational leadership as a theory of practice that has significantly influenced two very different school leaders and posits that invitational theory is a theory of practice worthy of consideration by educational leaders from around the world.

A Masters Student’s Journey: Trying to Balance Two Eyes of Research

This project is about a reflective research journey taken by a Masters student in the Child and Youth Studies Department at Brock University in St. Catharines Ontario. This journey consisted of a mixed method approach using the qualitative method of autoethnography along with the Indigenous research method of storytelling. The research was done using the concept of two-eyed seeing which consisted of trying to balance the two eyes of research: Indigenous and Western. The Non-Aboriginal researcher not only reflected on her own learning journey but also the lessons she learned from the voices of 48 women from Six Nations of the Grand River Territory. Like the trickster character Coyote, the researcher struggled, stumbled and was transformed by this journey.

A Mind of its Own: The Lived Experience of Adult Students who are ADHD

Despite the growing trend towards recognizing that attention deficit hyperactive disorder occurs beyond childhood, the experience of adult students who are ADHD remains little researched or understood. Given the losses in efficiency and productivity in academic performance from adult ADHD, researching ADHD’s experiential aspects is significant for both educators and students in its potential to develop better strategies for accommodating those with the disorder. This study used hermeneutic phenomenology and existential psychology to describe the lived experience of adult students who are ADHD. Five adult students participated in the study, which involved two in-depth conversations with guiding questions such as: What is it like to be ADHD?; and What led to your perception that you have ADHD? Conversations were transcribed and thematic statements developed, using the life-world existentials of lived space, lived time, lived relationships and lived corporeality to deepen considerations of meaning.

Anachronistic Me: An Autoethnographic Account of Recovery through Volunteerism

The purpose of this autoethnography was to reflect upon the ways in which my recovery was aided by the personal connections made while volunteering in a homeless shelter. Congruent with autoethnographic best practice, data were collected through a variety of means, including: journaling, field notes, participant observation, and collection of artifacts. An autoethnographic narrative emerged out of the analysis of data detailing my recuperative journey. Results indicated that my time spent volunteering at the shelter: (a) fostered a sense of Community, (b) made me aware of Realizations that broadened my perspective, and (c) aided in motivating me to be Intentional about Improving my Life. These three themes proved to be important factors in my recovery process. This thesis will inform social science researchers and health advocates by making a contribution to the growing body of literature regarding recovery.

Using Poetry, Story, and Reflection to Understand Professional Self After Personal Loss

This research investigated professional identity transformation after personal loss. Through autoethnographic methods, I explore how my personal experience of my sister’s breast cancer and death affected my identity as a diabetes educator in the health culture. I discover a transformation of a professional who focuses on evidence-based medicine to a professional who values connection, therapeutic alliance, and mindfulness with patients and self in the diabetes education encounter. Using a holistic perspective on transformational learning, I integrate the poem “Wild Geese” to a collection of written narratives to connect my personal loss experience to my professional life. By unpacking the generated stories and using poetry, I conduct a process of critical and self-reflection to discover how my identity as a health professional has transformed and what makes meaning in my role as a diabetes educator in the health culture. I consider concepts of a conscious self, social relations and language and discover themes of knowledge exchange, food, and empathy as forms of language expression. These language expressions are not present in my professional life as I focus on rational, logical facts of evidence-based medicine and standardized education methods. Through this reflexive process, I hope to understand how my professional practice has changed, where I place an importance on connection, therapeutic alliance, and mindfulness. I move away from always “doing” in my professional life to focus on my state of “being” in my professional world. Rather than knowledge acquisition as the only factor in professional development, this study contributes to an understanding of additional qualities health professionals may consider that focus on the patient education encounter.

Deconstructing Child Youth Care: an autoethnographic exploration of physical restraints in children’s residential settings

This thesis is written through the front-line perspective of a child/youth worker who has experienced ‘rupture’ in her personal understanding of the Child Youth Care (CYC) practice. Using a collection of personal journal entries written about her individual experiences of CYC education, mentorship/training, front-line residential practice and frequently used interventions, this thesis takes the reader (and the writer) on a discovery of prominent discourses that exist within the residential CYC profession. Focusing on the use of physical restraints on children by residential Child/Youth Workers, this research project utilizes Deconstructive Discourse Analysis and Liberation Psychologies to illustrate a critical examination of power-knowledge and scientific/medical discourses in CYC practice. By focusing on Foucault’s concepts of disciplinary power, binary division and theory of panopticism, the writer seeks to explore a personal reflection and comprehension of how power is used to assert control over children/youth through mental health treatment and physical interventions.

Métis or Moniyâw: Explorative stories of decolonizing my Métis identity

This thesis explores my emergent processes of identifying as a Métis person through autoethnographic narratives. I provide an overview of Métis history, identification, and decolonization, especially written by and for Aboriginal peoples. Using a decolonizing framework of Indigenous métissage (Donald, 2012) – which brings together complex, and nuanced influences to build knowledge – and an autoethnographic methodology, I explore cultural knowledges through critical self-reflection. I collected autoethnographic data in the form of personal journals and family artifacts; additionally, I shared conversations with other Métis peoples, which I used to further inform my own processes of identification and decolonization. The study results are presented as narrative vignettes, offering conclusions about: a) cultural ambivalence; b) privilege; c) language and music reclamation; and d) building relationships with both people and land. This research builds upon literature by, about, and for the benefit of Aboriginal peoples and settlers and offers considerations relevant to decolonization and identification.

Affect, ontology, and pedagogy: An autoethnographic study on student-teacher relationships

In studying affect within the realm of student-teacher relationships my thesis project use the concept of “affect” as composed by Baruch Spinoza (1992, 2007). I focus specifically on how Deleuze (1988) interprets and implements the term within his own philosophy, as well as on Antonio Negri’s (2011, 1991) work on Spinoza including his and Michael Hardt’s (2000, 2004, 2009) more recent works. This thesis will explore Spinoza’s affect within the discourse of Affective Pedagogy and Critical Pedagogy while remaining committed to a Spinoizist ontology as outlined by Deleuze (1988). I used artefacts from my past experiences as a student and teacher to produce evocative writing pieces which act as affective continuances of my past experiences as a student, student-teacher, and teacher, and the relationships of affect that composed them. This project used these artefacts and the writings they produced as sites of intensity that are carried through from traces, to evocative thresholds, to concepts, and finally into analysis.