Why I am not a teacher: a self-study examining why I made the decision to exit the teaching profession /

A good teacher was once described as being like a candle; consuming itself to light the way for others (Author unknown). But as Knox (2005) says, far too many yoimg flames flicker out before they ever get the opportvmity to bum their brightest. This self-study explores the phenomenon of teacher attrition through the stories and lived experiences of one elementary teacher. I strive throughout this self-study to delve deeper into the significance of my story and lived experiences in order to enhance our understanding of why teachers exit the profession. As a result, the guiding question throughout the study is, "Why do teachers, particularly those who have only taught for a few years, leave the classrooms they worked so hard to enter?" Through the writing of a narrative entitled Sarah 's Story, I was able to identify and give voice to a story openly sharing the feelings of despair; disappointment, frustration and disillusionment. This study has identified areas of tension that lead to dissatisfaction, discontent, and teacher disillusionment. It confronts the issues of complexity, uncertainty, and conflict that are experienced in teaching. It discusses the puzzling, powerfiil and upsetting experiences, highlighting the importance of talk between all members of the education system.

Letting go : a self-study utilizing critical literacy as method in improving my practice /

This is a Self-study about my role as a teacher, driven by the question: "How do I improve my practice?" (Whitehead, 1989)? In this study, I explored the discomfort that I had with the way that I had been teaching. Specifically, I worked to uncover the reasons behind my obsessive (mis)management of my students. I wrote of how I came to give my Self permission for this critique: how I came to know that all knowledge is a construction, and that my practice, too, is a construction. I grounded this journey within my experiences. I constructed these experiences in narrative fomi in order to reach a greater understanding of how I came to be the teacher I initially was. I explored metaphors that impacted my practice, re-constructed them, and saw more clearly the assumptions and influences that have guided my teaching. I centred my inquiry into my teaching within an Action Reflection methodology, bon-owing Jack Whitehead's (1989) term to describe my version of Action Research. I relied upon the embedded cyclical pattern of Action Reflection to understand my teaching Self: beginning from a critical moment, reflecting upon it, and then taking appropriate action, and continuing in this way, working to improve my practice. To understand these critical moments, I developed a personal definition of critical literacy. I then tumed this definition inward. In treating my practice as a textual production, I applied critical literacy as a framework in coming to know and understand the construction that is my teaching. I grounded my thesis journey within my Self, positioning my study within my experiences of being a grade 1 teacher struggling to teach critical literacy. I then repositioned my journey to that of a grade 1 teacher struggling to use critical literacy to improve my practice. This journey, then, is about the transition from critical literacyit as-subject to critical literacy-as-instmctional-method in improving my practice. I joumeyed inwards, using a critical moment to build new understandings, leading me to the next critical moment, and continued in this cyclical way. I worked in this meandering yet deliberate way to reach a new place in my teaching: one that is more inclusive of all the voices in my room. I concluded my journey with a beginning: a beginning of re-visioning my practice. In telling the stories of my journey, of my teaching, of my experiences, I changed into the teacher that I am more comfortable with. I've come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom. It's my personal approach that creates the climate. It's my daily mood that makes the weather As a teacher, I possess a tremendous power to make a person's life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humour, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a person humanized or de-humanized. (Ginott, as cited in Buscaglia, 2002, p. 22)

Spreading my wings : how can I improve my practice and contribute to the professional knowledge base through narrative-autobiographical self-study?

"How can I improve my practice and contribute to the professional knowledge base through narrative-autobiographical self-study?" Through the use of Whitehead's (1989) living educational theory and examination of my stories, I identify the values and critical events that have helped me come to know my own learning and shape my professional self. Building on the premise that educational knowledge/theory is created, recreated, and lived through educational inquiry; I strive to make meaning of this data archive, collected over 7 years of teaching. I chart my journey to reexamine my beliefs and practices, to find a balance between traditional and progressive practices and to align my theory and practice. I retell, and, thus, in some way relive, my own "living contradictions." A reconceptualization of the KNOW, DO, BE model (Drake & Burns, 2004) is used to develop strategies to align my practice, including a six-step model of curriculum design that combines the backwards design process of Wiggins and McTighe (1998), the KNOW, DO, BE model (Drake & Burns) and Curry and Samara's (1995) differentiation planner.

Part Time University Teaching in Ontario: A Self-Study

This qualitative self-study explored the disappointment I felt as a part-time university teacher in a mid-sized, primarily undergraduate Ontario university, where I experienced difficulty integrating my beliefs about teaching into my practice of teaching. The purpose of this qualitative study was to inquire into why it was difficult for me, representative of a part-time university teacher in a mid-sized, primarily undergraduate university, to enact the critical pedagogical practices I espoused in my teaching philosophy. The secondary purpose was to apply the findings of the study to reframe my university teaching practice in a way that met my need to enact my beliefs about university teaching while complying with the broader geo-political conditions of part-time university teaching in Ontario (Loughran, 2006; Russell & Loughran, 2007). This study is grounded in the sociological theoretical framework of critical pedagogy (Freire, 1970; Giroux, 1988, 2010; McLaren, 2003) and the methodological framework of The Self-Study of Teacher Education Practices (S-STEP). This study combined the methods of Brookfield’s (1995; 2002) critically reflective practice and Cole and Knowles (2000) practice of reflexive inquiry with Creswell’s (2005) methods of thematic analysis to answer the research question: Why is it difficult for me to enact my beliefs about university teaching as a part-time teacher in an Ontario university? Findings suggest the geo-political contexts of part-time university teaching work can impact a teacher’s ability to enact his/her beliefs about teaching within his/her practice of teaching.

Humour and Learning: A Self-Study of My Practice as an Adult Educator

This study examined my lived experiences as a frontline practitioner and adult educator in a local nonprofit community organization. Using self-study research methodology, I explored my professional practice as a facilitator of job search skills training with newcomers to Canada and the impact of humour on their learning, a topic for which I have a particular passion. To better inform my practice, I designed and delivered job search skills workshops on resume writing and cold-calling/networking. I used a variety of data sources including a literature review, personal observations, and reflections as well as secondary data sources from workshop evaluations and unsolicited feedback emails from participants. Findings from the self-study indicated that adult learners who experience entertaining and fun-filled lessons that use appropriate humour have better learning results, are more confident, and are better prepared to apply skills required for achieving career goals. Further, I learned in my practice that my challenge as an adult educator is to ensure humour is appropriately used and adds value to the learning rather than being the focus of the teaching.

Facilitating self-directed learning: the nurse educators' perspective

The concept of self-directed learning was examined from the nurse educators' perspective. One structured interview, lasting between one and one-and-a half hours, was conducted with each of 14 nurse educators in two community college continuing education programs in nursing. One community college program encourages selfdirected learning; the other encourages self-study and active participation in the teaching/learning process. All 14 interviews were tape-recorded and transcribed verbatim. Verbatim transcripts were analyzed for themes, patterns, and relationships utilizing analyst-constructed typologies. six prerequisites or necessary conditions for facilitating self-directed learning in a community college continuing education program in nursing were identified. ~he crucial issue in facilitating self-directed learning was found to be the issue of teacher-control.

Exploring the personal and professional lives of teachers in the search for authenticity /

"We teach who we are" (Palmer, 1998, p. 2). This simple, yet profound, statement was the catalyst that began my thesis journey. Using a combination of self-study and participant narratives, Palmer's idea was explored as search for authenticity. The self-study component of this narrative was enhanced by the stories of two other teachers, both women. I chose to use narrative methodology to uncover and discover the relationship between the personal and professional lives of being a teacher. Do teachers express themselves daily in their classrooms? Do any lessons from the classroom translate into teachers' personal lives? The themes of reflection, authenticity, truth, and professional development thread themselves throughout this narrative study. In order to be true to myself as a teacher/researcher, arts-based interpretations accompany my own and each participant's profile. Our conversations about our pasts, our growth as teachers and journeys as individuals were captured in poetry and photographic mosaics. Through rich and detailed stories we explored who we are as teachers and how we became this way. The symbiotic relationship between our personal and professional lives was illustrated by tales of bravery, self-discovery, and reflection. The revelations uncovered illustrate the powerful role our past plays in shaping the present and potentially the friture. It may seem indulgent to spend time exploring who we are as teachers in a time that is increasingly focused on improving student test scores. Yet, the truth remains that, "Knowing myself is as crucial to good teaching as knowing my students and my subject" (Palmer, 1998, p. 2).

The storying of an educator: the power of living legacy /

"I began these pages for myself, in order to think out my own particular pattern of living, my own individual balance of life, work and human relationships." Lindbergh (1983) p.9. In this thesis, I use self-study research as I focus on the topic of living legacy. This is a personal story, using narrative methodology and method as a means of uncovering and naming life lessons learned. I write to gain insight into my interpretation of the concept of living legacy - what living legacy means to me and why this concept is significant to me - and how living legacy impacts the person that I am in the present. Using a narrative lens, I inquire into stories that connect me to my spirit, my gender, education and theology, through my living legacy lessons, and I seek the impact these stories hold for me in my life today. I utilize a variety of methods including personal journals, course work, and arts-based research experiences as I explore the connections to my emerging perceptions ofmy living legacy lessons. This thesis represents the beginning of a continuing journey of self-discovery. I take the journey in order to uncover hidden and ongoing lessons of living legacy and the impact they have on the student and educator that I am.

Pausing at the river's edge : a narrative inquiry into the practice of a reading teacher /

In this narrative self-study I retell and connect the stories ofmy personal journey with literacy from childhood to the present. I use narrative as both methodology and method as I story my life experiences and my personal encounters with literacy. The heart ofmy reflections comes from the pages of personal journals written and storied over many years of trying to make meaning of powerful literacy experiences in my life. Now, in going back through the stories and reconstructing meaning, I make connections between the memories along the journey and the place from which I now tell my story. The interpretations I construct give voice to beliefs 1 have lived by and illuminations to moments in time that I have come to see with new eyes as I have engaged in this inquiry. The journey and self-reflection within the pages of this inquiry provide understanding of the driving force behind my personal passion for literacy. I am better able to understand my motivations and share the stories that validate my personal and professional path through time.

I must walk through the gate : an ontological necessity

This research is a self-study into my life as an athlete, elementary school teacher, leamer, and as a teacher educator/academic. Throughout the inquiry, I explore how my beliefs and values infused my lived experiences and ultimately influenced my constructivist, humanist, and ultimately my holistic teaching and learning practice which at times disrupted the status quo. I have written a collection of narratives (data generation) which embodied my identity as an unintelligent student/leamer, a teacher/learner, an experiential learner, a tenacious participant, and a change agent to name a few. As I unpack my stories and hermeneutically reconstruct their intent, I question their meaning as I explore how I can improve my teaching and learning practice and potentially effect positive change when instructing beginning teacher candidates at a Faculty of Education. At the outset I situate my story and provide the necessary political, social, and cultural background information to ground my research. I follow this with an in depth look at the elements that interconnect the theoretical framework of this self-study by presenting the notion of writing at the boundaries through auto ethnography (Ellis, 2000; Ellis & Bochner, 2004) and writing as a method of inquiry (Richardson, 2000). The emergent themes of experiential learning, identity, and embodied knowing surfaced during the data generation phase. I use the Probyn' s (1990) .. metaphor of locatedness to unpack these themes and ponder the question, Where is experience located? I deepen the exploration by layering Drake's (2007) KnowlDo/Be framework alongside locatedness and offer descriptions of learning moments grounded in pedagogical theories. In the final phase, I introduce thirdspace theory (Bhabha, 1994; Soja, 1996) as a space that allowed me to puzzle educational dilemmas and begin to reconcile the binaries that existed in my life both personally, and professionally. I end where I began by revisiting the questions that drove this study. In addition, Ireflect upon the writing process and the challenges that I encountered while immersed in this approach and contemplate the relevance of conducting a self-study. I leave the reader with what is waiting for me on the other side of the gate, for as Henry James suggested, "Experience is never limited, and it is never complete."

The Impact of Mindfulness Meditation on Educator Growth and Professional Development: A Personal Account

This study examined the use of mindfulness meditation in educator growth and professional development. The purpose was to create recommendations for an effective mindfulness meditation practice for educators. To this end, as the researcher is an educator as well as an experienced mindfulness meditation practitioner, the research methodology was self-study through narrative inquiry. The exploration of mindfulness meditation on the researcher’s personal and professional development was viewed through the lenses of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and Mezirow’s transformational learning theory. These theories provided an analytical framework that guided this research. Themes were drawn from the exploration and connected with academic literature. The results were a mindfulness meditation framework for educators that is based on the Socratic Method, and utilizes the conceptual frameworks of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and Mezirow’s transformational learning theory.

A study of self-directed learning at an Ontario college of applied arts and technology

Ontario Colleges of Applied Arts and Technology (CAATs) are currently in the process of restructuring to ensure quality, accountability, and accessibility of college education. References to learner involvement and self-directed learning are prevalent. "Alternative delivery" and "paradigm shift" are current buzzwords within the Ontario CAAT system as an environment is created supportive of change. Instability of funding has also dictated a need for change. Therefore, a focus has become quality of learning with less demand on public resources. This qualitative case study was conducted at an Ontario CAAT to gather descriptive, perceptual data from post-secondary community college educators who were identified as supportive of self-directed learning and from post-secondary, traditional-aged college students who were perceived by their educators to be selfdirected learners. This college was selected because of initiatives to modify its academic paradigm to encourage what was reputed in the Ontario CAAT system to be self-directed learning. The purpose of this study was to investigate how postsecondary, traditional-aged college students and their educators perceive self-directed learning as part of the teaching-learning experience within a community college setting. Educator participants of the study were selected based on the results of a teaching and learning survey intended to identify educators supportive of self-directed learning. A total of 317 surveys were distributed to every full-time educator at the sample college; 192 completed surveys were returned for a return rate of 61 %. Of these, 8% indicated instructional beliefs and values supportive of self-directed learning. A purposive sample of six educators was selected using a maximulp variation sampling strategy. A network selection sampling strategy was used to select a purposive sample of seven post-secondary students who were identified by the sample educators as selfdirected learners. The results of the study show that students and educators have similar perspectives and operating definitions of self-directed learning and all participants believe they either practice or facilitate self-directed learning. However, their perspectives and practices are not consistent with the literature which emphasizes learner autonomy or control in course structure and content. A central characteristic of the participants represented in this study is the service-oriented professions with which each is associated. Experientiallearning opportunities were highly valued for the options provided in increasing learner independence and competencies in reflective practice. Although there were discrepancies between espoused theory and theory in practice in terms of course structure, the process of self-directed learning was being practiced and supported outside the classroom structure in clinical settings, labs and related experiences.

A Quantitative Study of Social Capital Components, Self-Reported Health Status and Social Determinants of Health

This quantitative descriptive co-relational study used telephone survey interviews and stratified random sampling to collect data related to Social Capital (SC) and its components (trust and safety, reciprocity, civic engagement and collective action) and selected determinants of health variables in Niagara Region, Canada. Among the four components of social capital, trust and safety levels were highest among all participants (m=5.42, SD=1.0), with community engagement yielding the lowest mean score for the sample (m=1.93, SD=.8). Reciprocity had the strongest association with all other components of SC (r=0.51). Those most likely to report low levels of SC and health were unattached and low-income females. Males were more likely to report higher trust and safety levels and higher levels of self-rated health. In this study, a linear relationship between self-reported health status and SC was not found. Marital and employment status were associated with differences in mean scores of SC and self-reported health.

A Qualitative Study of the Professional Experiences of Teachers With Mobility Challenges and Their Self-Perceptions of Professional Success

This qualitative investigation explored the professional experiences of 3 Ontario teachers who have mobility challenges. The study’s participants (2 male and 1 female) were Ontario teachers who have permanent physical disabilities that challenge their means of mobility. Each participant has an Ontario Certified Teaching License and has either taught or is currently teaching in an Ontario school. My primary source of data collection was a semi-structured face-to-face interview with each participant. The focus of the interview was participant perspectives. Data analysis was accomplished in 3 phases. Data analysis generated 5 prominent themes of commonality among participants: (a) independence and sacrifice, (b) living with pain, (c) barriers and obstacles, (d) the importance of communication, and (e) professional benefits and personal rewards.