Using Poetry, Story, and Reflection to Understand Professional Self After Personal Loss

This research investigated professional identity transformation after personal loss. Through autoethnographic methods, I explore how my personal experience of my sister’s breast cancer and death affected my identity as a diabetes educator in the health culture. I discover a transformation of a professional who focuses on evidence-based medicine to a professional who values connection, therapeutic alliance, and mindfulness with patients and self in the diabetes education encounter. Using a holistic perspective on transformational learning, I integrate the poem “Wild Geese” to a collection of written narratives to connect my personal loss experience to my professional life. By unpacking the generated stories and using poetry, I conduct a process of critical and self-reflection to discover how my identity as a health professional has transformed and what makes meaning in my role as a diabetes educator in the health culture. I consider concepts of a conscious self, social relations and language and discover themes of knowledge exchange, food, and empathy as forms of language expression. These language expressions are not present in my professional life as I focus on rational, logical facts of evidence-based medicine and standardized education methods. Through this reflexive process, I hope to understand how my professional practice has changed, where I place an importance on connection, therapeutic alliance, and mindfulness. I move away from always “doing” in my professional life to focus on my state of “being” in my professional world. Rather than knowledge acquisition as the only factor in professional development, this study contributes to an understanding of additional qualities health professionals may consider that focus on the patient education encounter.

Kevin McCabe Collection, 1966-1979, 1981, 1991-1996,

Kevin McCabe received his PhD in Roman Studies from McMaster University. He has taught at The University of Regina, Nipissing University and Brock University. He was the editor of Gracefully Speaking: newsletter of the Grace Mennonite Church and The Poetry of Old Niagara. He is also the co- editor of The Poetry of Lucy Maud Montgomery and The Lucy Maud Montgomery Album.

Learning experience and identity development as a research assistant /

What research learning experiences do current students have as research assistants (RAs) in the Faculty of Education at Brock University? How do the experiences of research assistants contribute to the formation of a researcher identity and influence future research plans? Despite the importance of these questions, there seems to be very little research conducted or written about the experiences of research assistants as they engage in the research process. There are few resources to which research assistants or their advisors can refer regarding graduate student research learning experiences. The purpose of this study was to understand the kinds of learning experiences that 4 RAs (who are enrolled in the Faculty of Education at Brock University, St. Catharines, Ontario) have and how those experiences contribute to their identities as researchers. Through interviews with participants, observations of participants, and textual documents produced by participants, I have (a) discovered what 4 RAs have learned while engaged in one or more research assistantships and (b) explored how these 4 RAs' experiences have shaped their identities as new researchers. My research design provided a separate case study for each participant RA, including myself as a research participant. Then as a collective, I studied all 4 cases as a case study in itself in the form of a cross-analysis to identify similarities and differences between cases. Using a variety of writing forms and visual narratives, I analyzed and interpreted the experiences of my participants utilizing arts-based literature to inform my analysis and thesis format. The final presentation includes electronic diagrams, models, poetry, a newsletter, a website presentation, and other representational arts-based forms.This thesis is a resource for current and future research assistants who can learn from the research assistant experiences presented in the research. Faculty members who hire research assistants to assist them with their research will also benefit from reading about RAs' learning experiences from the RAs' perspective. The information provided in this thesis document is a resource to inform future policies and research training initiatives in faculty departments and offices at universities. Consequently, this thesis also informs researchers (experienced and inexperienced) about how to conduct research in ways that benefit all parties and provide insight into potential ways to improve research assistantship practices.

Exploring the personal and professional lives of teachers in the search for authenticity /

"We teach who we are" (Palmer, 1998, p. 2). This simple, yet profound, statement was the catalyst that began my thesis journey. Using a combination of self-study and participant narratives, Palmer's idea was explored as search for authenticity. The self-study component of this narrative was enhanced by the stories of two other teachers, both women. I chose to use narrative methodology to uncover and discover the relationship between the personal and professional lives of being a teacher. Do teachers express themselves daily in their classrooms? Do any lessons from the classroom translate into teachers' personal lives? The themes of reflection, authenticity, truth, and professional development thread themselves throughout this narrative study. In order to be true to myself as a teacher/researcher, arts-based interpretations accompany my own and each participant's profile. Our conversations about our pasts, our growth as teachers and journeys as individuals were captured in poetry and photographic mosaics. Through rich and detailed stories we explored who we are as teachers and how we became this way. The symbiotic relationship between our personal and professional lives was illustrated by tales of bravery, self-discovery, and reflection. The revelations uncovered illustrate the powerful role our past plays in shaping the present and potentially the friture. It may seem indulgent to spend time exploring who we are as teachers in a time that is increasingly focused on improving student test scores. Yet, the truth remains that, "Knowing myself is as crucial to good teaching as knowing my students and my subject" (Palmer, 1998, p. 2).

Singing Nature, Dancing Buddha: Zen, Language, and the Groundlessness of Silence

This thesis presents Zen experience as aesthetic in nature. This is done through an analysis of language, a central concern for Zen Buddhism. The thesis develops two modes of language at work in Zen: representational and indexical. What these modes of language entail, the kind of relations that are developed through their use, are explored with recourse to a variety of Zen platforms: poetry, the koan, zazen, music, and suizen. In doing so, a primacy of listening is found in Zen - a listening without a listener. Given this primacy of listening, silence comes to the forefront of the investigation. An analysis of John Cage's 4'33" provides this thesis with justification of the groundlessness of silence, and the groundlessness of subjectivity. Listening allows for the abyssal subject to emerges, which in tum allows for reality to present itself outside of the constitutive function of language.

Photograph - Ethelwyn Wetherald, Dorothy Wetherald Rungeling and others in Treehouse, (c. 1916)

The photograph is of the "house in the trees" which was built on the Wetherald property by Ethelwyn's brother Sam sometime around 1911. The treehouse known as "Camp Shelbi" was a place of inspiration for Ethelwyn's poetry. A storm in 1921 caused the tree branch to break and the treehouse was destroyed.

The American Naval and Patriotic Songster: As Sung at Various Places of Amusement, in Honour of Hull, Jones, Decatur, Perry, Bainbridge, Lawrence, Etc. Etc. Etc. (1834)

Volume of songs sung in praise of celebrated American War of 1812 heroes.

Collection of Canadian periodical clippings and Peninsular Game Club of St. Catharines broadside, 1874, [1910-1950]

Items include: 13 small poems clipped from newspapers. None of the poems list authors. Most of the poems are based on life lessons. Clippings of short stories which appear to have come from a St. Catharines newspaper. The stories include anecdotes, humour and medical advice. There is no author listed on any of the stories. 2 coloured sewing machine advertisements each measuring 9 cm. x 13 cm. and 9 cm. x 14 cm. 1 broadside measuring 27 cm. x 37 cm. and posted by the Peninsular Game Club of St. Catharines. The broadside is a copy of the game laws of 1874 with a warning that breach of these laws will bring rigorous prosecution.