Why I am not a teacher: a self-study examining why I made the decision to exit the teaching profession /

A good teacher was once described as being like a candle; consuming itself to light the way for others (Author unknown). But as Knox (2005) says, far too many yoimg flames flicker out before they ever get the opportvmity to bum their brightest. This self-study explores the phenomenon of teacher attrition through the stories and lived experiences of one elementary teacher. I strive throughout this self-study to delve deeper into the significance of my story and lived experiences in order to enhance our understanding of why teachers exit the profession. As a result, the guiding question throughout the study is, "Why do teachers, particularly those who have only taught for a few years, leave the classrooms they worked so hard to enter?" Through the writing of a narrative entitled Sarah 's Story, I was able to identify and give voice to a story openly sharing the feelings of despair; disappointment, frustration and disillusionment. This study has identified areas of tension that lead to dissatisfaction, discontent, and teacher disillusionment. It confronts the issues of complexity, uncertainty, and conflict that are experienced in teaching. It discusses the puzzling, powerfiil and upsetting experiences, highlighting the importance of talk between all members of the education system.

Living in the Skin That I Am: An Organizational Autoethnography of an Adult Educator's Plight to Survive the Stigma of Invisible and Episodic Disability in an Academy of Administritiva

Through the reflective lens of an adult educator with invisible and episodic disabilities, this paper has been written as an organizational autoethnography. Through a process of autoethnographical sensemaking, it is intended to illuminate important gaps in organizational theory. Feminist/relational care ethics, critical reflection, and transformative learning serve as the educational theories that comprise its framework. In telling my story, embodied writing and performance narrative are used to convey the felt existence of a body exposed through words—where my “abled” and “disabled” professional teaching and learning identities may be studied against the backdrop of organizational policies and procedures. Words used to describe unfamiliar experiences and situations shape meaning for which new meaning may emerge. At the conclusion of this paper, an alternative frame of reference—a view from the margins—may be offered to articulate authenticity in the expectancy of workplace equity for adult educators with disabilities. Taken collectively on a larger level, it is hoped that this research may provide a source of inspiration for systemic organizational change in adult learning environments.

Graffiti, memory and contested space : mnemonic initiatives following trauma and/or repression in Buenos Aires, Argentina

Graffiti, Memory and Contested Space: Mnemonic Initiatives Following Periods of Trauma and/or Repression in Buenos Aires, Argentina This thesis concerns the popular articulation ofmemory following periods or incidents of trauma in Argentina. I am interested in how groups lay claim to various public spaces in the city and how they convert these spaces into mnemonic battlegrounds. In considering these spaces of trauma and places of memory, I am primarily interested in how graffiti writing (stencils, spray-paint, signatures, etchings, wall-paintings, murals and installations) is used to make these spaces transmit particular memories that impugn official versions of the past. This thesis draws on literatures focused on popular/public memory. Scholars argue that memory is socially constructed and thus actively contested. Marginal initiatives such as graffiti writing challenge the memory projects of the state as well as state projects that are perceived by citizens to be 'inadequate,' 'inappropriate,' and/or as promoting the erasure of memory. Many of these initiatives are a reaction to the proreconciliation and pro-oblivion strategies of previous governments. I outline that the history of silences and impunity, and a longstanding emphasis on reconciliation at the expense of truth and justice has created an environment of vulnerable memory in Argentina. Popular memory entrepreneurs react by aggressively articulating their memories in time and in space. As a result of this intense memory work, the built landscape in Buenos Aires is dotted with mnemonic initiatives that aim to contradict or subvert officially sanctioned memories. I also suggest that memory workers in Argentina persistently and carefially use the sites of trauma as well as key public spaces to ensure official as well as popular audiences . The data for this project was collected in five spaces in Buenos Aires, the Plaza de Mayo, Plaza Congreso, La Republica Cromanon nightclub, Avellaneda Train Station and El Olimpo, a former detention centre from the military dictatorship.

The storying of an educator: the power of living legacy /

"I began these pages for myself, in order to think out my own particular pattern of living, my own individual balance of life, work and human relationships." Lindbergh (1983) p.9. In this thesis, I use self-study research as I focus on the topic of living legacy. This is a personal story, using narrative methodology and method as a means of uncovering and naming life lessons learned. I write to gain insight into my interpretation of the concept of living legacy - what living legacy means to me and why this concept is significant to me - and how living legacy impacts the person that I am in the present. Using a narrative lens, I inquire into stories that connect me to my spirit, my gender, education and theology, through my living legacy lessons, and I seek the impact these stories hold for me in my life today. I utilize a variety of methods including personal journals, course work, and arts-based research experiences as I explore the connections to my emerging perceptions ofmy living legacy lessons. This thesis represents the beginning of a continuing journey of self-discovery. I take the journey in order to uncover hidden and ongoing lessons of living legacy and the impact they have on the student and educator that I am.

Paradigms and prisons: a narrative of translation and transformation : my hero's journey from "at-risk" youth to teacher/learner in a jail setting /

All life is suffering. Life is the pursuit ofhappiness. These are two foundational Buddhist dictums that, in their simplicity, I have entirely misunderstood regarding their depth, misreading them as contradictory. Indeed, my superficial interpretations led me to Thoreau's life ofquiet desperation and deep depression. We come to know and bring understanding to our lives by storying them. My own Hero's Journey, the path from my egoic selftoward the universal Self, can be understood as the resultant translations and transformations. Inevitably each of us is involved in such a story, though most are unaware of the stages along our own Hero's journey. ' Narrative honours writing as a means of knowing. The contemplative reflection allows insight into our imprisoning paradigms, beliefs, behaviours, and blind spots. My research revisits and explores nodal experiences along my Hero's Journey through 4 categories: self, society, soil, and Self. While the value of this process of narrative inquiry lay in its ability to come to know and understand one's self, perhaps its greater value is of a more universal nature. My inquiry, while adding to the body of academic educational narrative literature, may also illuminate a path to educators, students, and all interested, encouraging a response to the call of their own Hero's journey. I am a teacher/learner in a jail setting, working with youth between the ages of 12 and 18 who have committed crimes such as armed robbery, assault, rape, and murder. As this thesis follows my continual development from egoic self/teacher/learner to universal Self/Teacher/Learner, it also enables me to both consciously and unconsciously open the ways in which I expand my care, compassion, and love to work with at-risk youth.

Shop-floor narratives : how six workers and a researcher describe learning activities

I am a part-time graduate student who works in industry. This study is my narrative about how six workers and I describe shop-floor learning activities, that is learning activities that occur where work is done, outside a classroom. Because this study is narrative inquiry, you wilileam about me, the narrator, more than you would in a more conventional study. This is a common approach in narrative inquiry and it is important because my intentions shape the way that I tell these six workers' stories. I developed a typology of learning activities by synthesizing various theoretical frameworks. This typology categorizes shop-floor learning activities into five types: onthe- job training, participative learning, educational advertising, incidental learning, and self-directed learning. Although learning can occur in each of these activities in isolation, it is often comprised of a mixture of these activities. The literature review contains a number of cases that have been developed from situations described in the literature. These cases are here to make the similarities and differences between the types of learning activities that they represent more understandable to the reader and to ground the typology in practice as well as in theory. The findings are presented as reader's theatre, a dramatic presentation of these workers' narratives. The workers tell us that learning involves "being shown," and if this is not done properly they "learn the hard way." I found that many of their best case lean1ing activities involved on-the-job training, participative learning, incidentalleaming, and self-directed learning. Worst case examples were typically lacking in properly designed and delivered participative learning activities and to a lesser degree lacking carefully planned and delivered on-the-job training activities. Included are two reflective chapters that describe two cases: Learning "Engels" (English), and Learning to Write. In these chapters you will read about how I came to see that my own shop-floor learning-learning to write this thesis-could be enhanced through participative learning activities. I came to see my thesis supervisor as not only my instructor who directed and judged my learning activities, but also as a more experienced researcher who was there to participate in this process with me and to help me begin to enter the research community. Shop-floor learning involves learners and educators participating in multistranded learning activities, which require an organizational factor of careful planning and delivery. As with learning activities, which can be multi-stranded, so too, there can be multiple orientations to learning on the shop floor. In our stories, you will see that these six workers and I didn't exhibit just one orientation to learning in our stories. Our stories demonstrate that we could be behaviorist and cognitivist and humanist and social learners and constructivist in our orientation to learning. Our stories show that learning is complex and involves multiple strands, orientations, and factors. Our stories show that learning narratives capture the essence of learning-the learners, the educators, the learning activities, the organizational factors, and the learning orientations. Learning narratives can help learners and educators make sense of shop-floor learning.

Teachers' likes and dislikes as factors in educational change

Teachers at local elementary and secondary schools were invited to participate in a survey research study by completing a questionnaire containing 26 statements regarding educational issues (e.g., "I am satisfied with the quality of my interactions with students."). Teachers were asked to indicate whether they agreed, were neutral, or disagreed with each statement; and further, to make a suggestions for appropriate change; to indicate a level at which the change could be implemented (classroom, school, board, ministry, society); and to indicate to what extent they perceive they have influence on change in the area represented in the statement. The responses of 50 elementary and 50 secondary teachers were randomly chosen from among the completed questionnaires and the information was recorded for analysis. Results of frequency counts of responses showed teachers were generally satisfied with their experiences of the areas referred to in the statements. Seventy-two percent of the responses agreed with the statements; 15% of the responses indicated disagreement, and 13% of the responses were neutral. Cross-tabulations of the survey data with demographic information showed differences among the responses of female and male teachers; elementary and secondary teachers; and teachers grouped according to their total years of teaching experience.

Letting go : a self-study utilizing critical literacy as method in improving my practice /

This is a Self-study about my role as a teacher, driven by the question: "How do I improve my practice?" (Whitehead, 1989)? In this study, I explored the discomfort that I had with the way that I had been teaching. Specifically, I worked to uncover the reasons behind my obsessive (mis)management of my students. I wrote of how I came to give my Self permission for this critique: how I came to know that all knowledge is a construction, and that my practice, too, is a construction. I grounded this journey within my experiences. I constructed these experiences in narrative fomi in order to reach a greater understanding of how I came to be the teacher I initially was. I explored metaphors that impacted my practice, re-constructed them, and saw more clearly the assumptions and influences that have guided my teaching. I centred my inquiry into my teaching within an Action Reflection methodology, bon-owing Jack Whitehead's (1989) term to describe my version of Action Research. I relied upon the embedded cyclical pattern of Action Reflection to understand my teaching Self: beginning from a critical moment, reflecting upon it, and then taking appropriate action, and continuing in this way, working to improve my practice. To understand these critical moments, I developed a personal definition of critical literacy. I then tumed this definition inward. In treating my practice as a textual production, I applied critical literacy as a framework in coming to know and understand the construction that is my teaching. I grounded my thesis journey within my Self, positioning my study within my experiences of being a grade 1 teacher struggling to teach critical literacy. I then repositioned my journey to that of a grade 1 teacher struggling to use critical literacy to improve my practice. This journey, then, is about the transition from critical literacyit as-subject to critical literacy-as-instmctional-method in improving my practice. I joumeyed inwards, using a critical moment to build new understandings, leading me to the next critical moment, and continued in this cyclical way. I worked in this meandering yet deliberate way to reach a new place in my teaching: one that is more inclusive of all the voices in my room. I concluded my journey with a beginning: a beginning of re-visioning my practice. In telling the stories of my journey, of my teaching, of my experiences, I changed into the teacher that I am more comfortable with. I've come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom. It's my personal approach that creates the climate. It's my daily mood that makes the weather As a teacher, I possess a tremendous power to make a person's life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humour, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a person humanized or de-humanized. (Ginott, as cited in Buscaglia, 2002, p. 22)

Pausing at the river's edge : a narrative inquiry into the practice of a reading teacher /

In this narrative self-study I retell and connect the stories ofmy personal journey with literacy from childhood to the present. I use narrative as both methodology and method as I story my life experiences and my personal encounters with literacy. The heart ofmy reflections comes from the pages of personal journals written and storied over many years of trying to make meaning of powerful literacy experiences in my life. Now, in going back through the stories and reconstructing meaning, I make connections between the memories along the journey and the place from which I now tell my story. The interpretations I construct give voice to beliefs 1 have lived by and illuminations to moments in time that I have come to see with new eyes as I have engaged in this inquiry. The journey and self-reflection within the pages of this inquiry provide understanding of the driving force behind my personal passion for literacy. I am better able to understand my motivations and share the stories that validate my personal and professional path through time.

Books on the border land : a Mennonite woman's memoir of reading and remembering the sacred

This arts-based thesis, written from my perspective as a Manitoba Mennonite woman and English Language Arts educator, is a memoir of books and reading. As a voracious reader, I am dismayed by the general perception of literacy in public schools as being a set of measureable tasks, and I have found that reading, in particular, has become divorced from its traditional link to life-giving and sacred things. In this thesis, I used life writing to share some of my reading history to illustrate, in part, the degree to which books may enrich our lives by helping us understand the past, present, and future - but only if we allow them to do so.

Perennial negotiations/elemental encounters autoethnographic perspectives on approaching food sovereignty

This thesis uses a multifaceted process to engage with the topic of food sovereignty in California. It employs diverse methods, including critical and creative prose, photography, autoethnographic mixed media, storytelling and poetry. I am particularly concerned with the " " challenges of approaching food sovereignty, a radical praxis that combines subsistence practices with anti-capitalist resistance, while in my own "skin," which is thoroughly embedded in white, urban, middle classed culture and in corltextualizing ecological relationshipslkinships via cultural, historical and economic trajectories. The project utilizes a processual methodlology drawing substantially from the work of Brian Massumi to explore these issues through four creative narrative pieces which coalesce around the elemental metaphors of air, fire, water and earth. Following Deleuze and Guatarri's concept ofrhizomatic plateaus, the thesis narratives are comprised of many non-hierarchical layers and can be read from many angles. Each is offered "in process" rather than as a finished piece, thus practically validating the concept of the ongoing work of research and suggesting the equally omnipresent possibility of change and mutation in the formation relationally based knowledges. Cultivating ecological ethic and healing on multisensory levels, as well as commitment to emergent and re-productivist worldviews are goals of this project's research.

Letter - American soldier's account of battles at Chippewa, Lundy's Lane and Fort Erie, 1814

Transcript (original grammar and spelling retained): My dear wife I take this time to inform you that I am well hoping that these few lines will Reach you and find you the same I shall in form you of all our Battles that we have had sence I left home we crossed in to Canada the 2 day of July and took fort Erie on the 3 day of July without loss of one man. We then marched down to Chipway eighteen miles below the Fort Erie we got there on the forth day and had our first battle on the 5 day our loss was not jistly known But the inemy loss was double to ours. The 6 day we started with the 2 Brigade to make a bridge a crost the crick two miles a bove the fort in Building the Bridge the inemy Brought up their Canon and playd upon us with their artiliery a bout two hours We drove them from the fort our loss was none the inemy loss was nineteen ciled dead on the ground we then marched to Queenston when we got thare our inemy had fledfrom the fort we then remained thair to Queenston ten days then we marched down to Fort George But that caurdly Chaney did not a rive with the fleet so we had to return back to Queenston thare was a bout six hundred militia formed on the heights of land thay fired up on us from their pickets and retreated to the mane body our flankers ciled and wounded and took about twenty before they got to the Maine body we then marched up the hill they gave us two firs but did not damage and then retreated from the field we stayed there one knight and then marched to Chipway and stayed there one night and the next day just as the sun set the first Brigade marched up in order to give them Battle a bout two miles from the Crick and began the Battle the 2 Brigade has to March up to the Niagara path and ingaged them we charged up on their artlery and took all their Canon Miller commanded the four companys that charged....the battles lasted three hours and forty minutes our loss was about 8 hundred cild and wounded our inemies loss was a bout fourteen hundred cild and wounded the next morning we Marched up in order to give them Battle a gin but thay was afraid to ingage us we then marched to Fort Erie and went to fortiffing and made a strong place the inemy folered us up and Began to cananade and held it fifty three days thay a tacked the fort the fifteenth of august thay atacked a bout one hiour be fore day Light we saw them and Blue up our maggerzean & two hundred of our inemy our loss wasa bout forty cild and wounded and our inemy loss was a bout one thousand on the 7 Day of September we atacked them and took their batteries and Broke all their canon and drove them from the field our loss was a Bout two hundred cild and wounded our inemy loss was a Bout 8 hundred cild and wounded...we crossed in to Canada with five thousand and came out with fifteen hundred we then Marched to Sackett’s harbor....am well and harty for the present....a bout comming home it uncarting for there is not any....given this winter as yet But I shall try to Come home if I Can But if I Cant I want you should take good car of the Phiddness[?] I have not Received any Money as yet But soon as I do receive some I send some home. I want you should write to me as soon as you receive this and and how Much Stock you wintor I Received your Letter with Great pleasure I feel uneasy a bout you I am a frade that you are sick or dead this is from your husband Chase Clough

Manuscript of James Cummings- August 28, 1860

Transcript (spelling and grammar retained): Chippawa [Chippewa] 28th August 1860 My Dear Sir I duly received your very kind letter of the 24th [June] asking me to communicate such facts of general interest connected with my career during the War with the United States. I have no objection to afford you such information as came under my own observation; nevertheless I do so, with the understanding, I have no desire to be my own trumpeter. With respect to your circular wherein you state you have been for several years collecting materials for a History of the late War between the United States & Great Britain, for which you are now gathering further materials to add to your collection, concerning the Second War for Independence. I am rather at a loss to know, what is meant by the second war; If you allude to the petty Rebellion, it could not be called a War, Those that caused the outbreak were very soon put down, by the Loyal people of the Province without the aid of Regular Troops being satisfied with the Independence they enjoyed. With respect to the several questions names in your circular: To the 1st I would say, this locality is made memorable by the battle of Chippawa [Chippewa] which took place about a mile above the village on the ground I pointed out to you, when I had the pleasure of seeing you a few days ago, with Mr Porter of the Niagara Falls, of which I believe you took sketches at the time. 2nd I have no historical documents of any value; so many years having gone past, the most of my old papers have either been lost or destroyed, I however came across two letters, one dated Queenston 9th July 1812 from Lt. Col. Nicholl Quarter Master General of Militia, the other from Lt. Col Myers Deputy Quarter Master General of the Regular Army date Fort George 23rd same month, directed to me in the hand writing of each of those officers as Deputy Quarter Master General of Militia, which letters I shall be obliged you would return at as early a day possible, as I wish to place them with tome others in the case, I have had made to hold the cocked hat & feather I wore during that eventful period, which I am sorry I did not exhibit when you was at my house; with reference to it I now enclose a letter from Lt. Col. Clark, residing at Port Dalhousie he was Captain & Adjutant of Militia in the War of 1812__ I send the letter in proof of the cock’d hat it is a lengthy one, but you may find time to turn over it, as I shall also place it in the hat case__ 3rd Where are [but] [for] traditionary [sic] witnesses residing in this vicinity – Col Clark above named Mr Merritt of St. Catharines, & Mr Kerby of Brantford are the only ones I now recollect, who could offord [sic] you any statistical information. 4th I have no pictorial sketches of any Military Movements or fortifications. As regards my own career, which you appear [ ? ] of knowing__ I was first a Lieutenant in a volunteer flank company stationed on the river side opposite [Navy] Island not far from the battle ground of Chippawa [Chippewa], I got promotion as Lieutenant of Cavalry before I got my Cavalry dress completed in three days more, I was called by General Brock to Fort George, was appointed Deputy Quarter Master General of Militia with the rank of Captain s the accompanying letters will show. I was at the battle of Stony Creek, several skirmishes at the Cross Roads, when the American army [ ? ] Fort George, at the taking of Col. Boerstler at the Beaver Dam, & had the honor of receiving Colonel Chapens sword at the surrender, who commanded a company of volunteer Horse Men was at the taking of 15 regulars & two officers at Fort Schlosser—was with Col. Bishop at the taking of Black Rock, near him when he fell, three men of the 8th Reg. more killed in the Boat I was in – I was at Chippawa battle, and the last, not the least in Lundy’s lane battle, which the Americans call the battle of Bridge [Waters]. I had forgot; there was another small affair at Corks Mill where I was. I could write a little history of events, but have not the time to do so. If what I have stated will be of any service for the purpose you require I shall feel happy. The history of the late War was published at Toronto in the Anglo American Magazine. Did you ever see it, I have the Books, there were however several errors which came under my notice, which I could have corrected. If my time would permit I could give you a more detailed statement of events. I trust however you may succeed with your publication , and I shall be most happy to hear from you at all times—I related many little occurances verbally to you when here, which I thought not necessary to repeat again as you would have a perfect recollection of them. Be pleased to return the letters for the purpose I require them. I am My Dear Sir Your respectful friend James Cummings

Letter From Sir Isaac Brock to James FitzGibbon - July 29, 1812

A two page letter written by Sir Isaac Brock in York, Upper Canada to James FitzGibbon on July 29, 1812. The name of the recipient is not included but according to Mary Agnes FitzGibbon, one can find a transcript of the letter in her "A Veteran of 1812", page 60.[1812], 29 July: Major-General Isaac Brock, York, to James FitzGibbon. I lament that you should have been so long impressed with the idea that I possessed the means of being serviceable to you. I had scarcely heard of Mr. Johnson having declined a Company in the Glengarry (which would have given me the nomination) but I received account of his being reinstated. I consequently thought no more of the business thinking that officer was enjoying the fruits of his good fortune. I know not positively whether Mr. Johnson is reinstated, but being under obligations to promote his views, I cannot possibly interfere to his prejudice. I rather wonder you did not hear that Lieut Lamont had long ago my promise of nominating him to the Company provided it became vacant, which of course would have precluded my application in your behalf. Altho you must be sensible of the impossibility of my taking any step to forward your views in the present case, yet be assured I shall always feel happy in any opportunity that may offer to do your service. To a person unaccustomed to my writing I scarcely would hazard sending this scrawl. I am, Dear Sir, Yours faithfully, Isaac Brock I should like to be among the 49th at this moment. I am satisfied they will support and even add to their former fame. They have my very best wishes. The 41st are behaving nobly at Amherstburg.

Letter from David Todd to Colonel Proctor, Commanding Officer of the 41st Regiment- 9 Feb 1812

Transcript (spelling and grammar retained): “Col Proctor Sir I hope your goodness will excuse the Liberty I have taken of Enclosing a Letter for my nephew Mr. Hailes to your care, and begging the favor of you to forward it to him, - not knowing myself at what Post he is – With Great Respect I am Sir Your Most Obed Serv David Todd”