Paradigms and prisons: a narrative of translation and transformation : my hero's journey from "at-risk" youth to teacher/learner in a jail setting /

All life is suffering. Life is the pursuit ofhappiness. These are two foundational Buddhist dictums that, in their simplicity, I have entirely misunderstood regarding their depth, misreading them as contradictory. Indeed, my superficial interpretations led me to Thoreau's life ofquiet desperation and deep depression. We come to know and bring understanding to our lives by storying them. My own Hero's Journey, the path from my egoic selftoward the universal Self, can be understood as the resultant translations and transformations. Inevitably each of us is involved in such a story, though most are unaware of the stages along our own Hero's journey. ' Narrative honours writing as a means of knowing. The contemplative reflection allows insight into our imprisoning paradigms, beliefs, behaviours, and blind spots. My research revisits and explores nodal experiences along my Hero's Journey through 4 categories: self, society, soil, and Self. While the value of this process of narrative inquiry lay in its ability to come to know and understand one's self, perhaps its greater value is of a more universal nature. My inquiry, while adding to the body of academic educational narrative literature, may also illuminate a path to educators, students, and all interested, encouraging a response to the call of their own Hero's journey. I am a teacher/learner in a jail setting, working with youth between the ages of 12 and 18 who have committed crimes such as armed robbery, assault, rape, and murder. As this thesis follows my continual development from egoic self/teacher/learner to universal Self/Teacher/Learner, it also enables me to both consciously and unconsciously open the ways in which I expand my care, compassion, and love to work with at-risk youth.

The convergence of psychopathy, self-rated vulnerability, and other-rated vulnerability

Previous research has found that victims of crime tend to exhibit asynchronous movement (e.g. Grayson & Stein, 1981), and the fact that victims display different body language suggests that they may be sending inadvertent signals to their own vulnerability (e.g. Murzynski & Degelman, 1996). Body language has also be en linked with s e l f identification as a victim (Wheeler et aI., 2009), and self-identification has be en found to act as a proxy for more severe victimization (Baumer, 2002) and greater fear of crime (Greenberg & Beach, 2004). The first prediction in the present study, then, was that self-perceived vulnerability would be correlated with body language, while number of previous victimizations mayor may not show the same relationship. Findings from the present study indicate that self-perceived vulnerability exhibits a positive correlation with the body language cues that approaches significance r (10) = .45,p =.07, one-tailed. Different types of victimization, however, were not significantly correlated with these cues. A second goal of the study was to examine the relationship between psychopathic traits and accuracy in judgments of vulnerability. Seventy male participants rated the vulnerability of 12 female targets filmed walking down a hallway who had provided selfratings of vulnerability. Individuals scoring higher on Factor 2 and total psychopathy were significantly less discrepant from target self-rat~ngs of vulnerability, r (64) = - .39,p < .001; r (64) = - .29,p >.01, respectively. The final purpose of this study was to determine which body language cues were mos t salient to raters when making judgments of vulnerability. Participants rated the apparent vulnerability of a target in 7 video clips portraying each body language cue in isolation and a natural walk. Results of repeated measures analyses indicate that the videos rated as most vulnerable to victimization were those displaying low energy and l a ck of synchrony, followed by wide stride, short stride, and stiffknees, while the video displaying ne ck stiffness did not receive significantly different ratings from the mode l ' s natural walk. Replication with a larger sample size is necessary to increase confidence in findings and implications.