Hurt feelings in couple relationships: Towards integrative models of the negative effects of hurtful events

Previous research suggests that hurt feelings can have powerful effects on individual and relational outcomes. This study examined a typology of hurtful events in couple relationships, together with integrative models predicting ongoing effects on victims and relationships. Participants were 224 students from introductory and third-year psychology classes, who completed open-ended and structured measures concerning an event in which a partner had hurt their feelings. By tailoring Leary et al.'s (1998) typology to the context of romantic relationships, five categories of hurtful events were proposed: active disassociation, passive disassociation, criticism, infidelity, and deception. Analyses assessing similarities and differences among the categories confirmed the utility of the typology. Structural equation modeling showed that longer-term effects on the victim were predicted by relationship anxiety and by the victim's immediate reactions to the event (negative emotions and self-perceptions; feelings of rejection and powerlessness). In contrast, ongoing effects on the relationship were predicted by avoidance, the victim's attributions and perceptions of offender remorse, and the victim's own behavior. The results highlight the utility of an integrated approach to hurt, incorporating emotional, cognitive, and behavioral responses, and dimensions of attachment security.

Hurt feelings in couple relationships: Exploring the role of attachment and perceptions of personal injury

This research program focused on perceptions of the appraisals and emotions involved in hurtful events in couple relationships. Study I tested the broad proposition that hurt feelings are elicited by relational transgressions that generally imply relational devaluation and that evoke a sense of personal injury by threatening positive mental models of self and/or others. Participants (N = 224) provided retrospective accounts of an experience of being hurt by a romantic partner. These accounts, together with expert judges' ratings, showed that most hurtful events involved relational transgressions that signal both relational devaluation and threat to positive mental models; however, relational devaluation was relatively unimportant in explaining the hurt associated with partners' distrust. A sense of injury emerged as the dominant theme in open-ended accounts of emotional reactions; however, other negative emotions also featured and were related to the type of event reported. The emotion terms generated in Study I were used as stimuli in a word-sorting task (Study 2). This study confirmed that many of the terms were perceived specifically as injury related, and shed further light on the link between appraisals and emotions. Theoretical and practical implications of the findings are discussed.

Victim-perpetrator differences in reports of hurtful events

This research project addressed limitations identified in previous studies of role differences (victim vs. perpetrator) in evaluations of hurtful events. The study employed multiple methods (open-ended and structured retrospective reports and experience-sampling diary records), and involved a community sample of both dating and married couples. Retrospective reports indicated that the extent and direction of role-related differences varied markedly across dependent measures. Further, role differences were moderated by forgiveness, but not relationship status, relationship satisfaction, or event severity. Diary records pointed to the ambiguity inherent in many communication acts as contributing to differing perceptions of hurtful events. Results are discussed in terms of theories of interdependence and self-presentation and in terms of the complex and often ambiguous nature of couples' communication processes.

Why does social exclusion hurt? The relationship between social and physical pain

The authors forward the hypothesis that social exclusion is experienced as painful because reactions to rejection are mediated by aspects of the physical pain system. The authors begin by presenting the theory that overlap between social and physical pain was an evolutionary development to aid social animals in responding to threats to inclusion. The authors then review evidence showing that humans demonstrate convergence between the 2 types of pain in thought, emotion, and behavior, and demonstrate, primarily through nonhuman animal research, that social and physical pain share common physiological mechanisms. Finally, the authors explore the implications of social pain theory for rejection-elicited aggression and physical pain disorders.

Do our feelings leak through the clothes we wear?

There is a substantial body of literature that suggests that clothing and more particularly fashion is a form of communication. It communicates how we want to be seen by others as well as how we see ourselves. But does it communicate how we feel? This paper draws a link between symbolic and emotional communication by suggesting that fashion changes our internal feelings and that many of these emotions are expressed to others through symbols such as the clothes we wear. A conceptual framework is presented explaining the effects of clothing on an individual consumer. This framework classifies the fashion effect into internally and externally communicated meanings. Knowledge of how fashion is used as a form of emotional expression is particularly important for those fashion retailers who display the clothing they sell to engender positive feelings that may then lead to purchase behaviour.