Childrens experiences of domestic violence and abuse: Siblings accounts of relational coping

This article explores how children see their relationships, particularly their sibling relationships, in families affected by domestic violence (DV) and how relationality emerges in their accounts as a resource to build an agentic sense of self. The ‘voice’ of children is largely absent from the DV literature, which typically portrays them as passive, damaged and relationally incompetent. Children’s own understandings of their relational worlds are often overlooked, and consequently, existing models of children’s social interactions give inadequate accounts of their meaning-making-in-context. Drawn from a larger study of children’s experiences of DV and abuse, this article uses two case studies of sibling relationships to explore young people’s use of relational resources, for coping with violence in the home. The article explores how relationality and coping intertwine in young people’s accounts and disrupts the taken-for-granted assumption that children’s ‘premature caring’ or ‘parentification’ is (only) pathological in children’s responses to DV. This has implications for understanding young people’s experiences in the present and supporting their capacity for relationship building in the future.

Beyond "Witnessing": Childrens Experiences of Coercive Control in Domestic Violence and Abuse

Children’s experiences and voices are underrepresented in academic literature and professional practice around domestic violence and abuse. The project “Understanding Agency and Resistance Strategies” (UNARS) addresses this absence, through direct engagement with children. We present an analysis from interviews with 21 children in the United Kingdom (12 girls and 9 boys, aged 8-18 years), about their experiences of domestic violence and abuse, and their responses to this violence. These interviews were analyzed using interpretive interactionism. Three themes from this analysis are presented: (a) “Children’s experiences of abusive control,” which explores children’s awareness of controlling behavior by the adult perpetrator, their experience of that control, and its impact on them; (b) “Constraint,” which explores how children experience the constraint associated with coercive control in situations of domestic violence; and (c) “Children as agents,” which explores children’s strategies for managing controlling behavior in their home and in family relationships. The article argues that, in situations where violence and abuse occur between adult intimate partners, children are significantly affected, and can be reasonably described as victims of abusive control. Recognizing children as direct victims of domestic violence and abuse would produce significant changes in the way professionals respond to them, by (a) recognizing children’s experience of the impact of domestic violence and abuse; (b) recognizing children’s agency, undermining the perception of them as passive “witnesses” or “collateral damage” in adult abusive encounters; and (c) strengthening professional responses to them as direct victims, not as passive witnesses to violence.