Adult personality inconsistency and problems with parents: uncovering the roots of the false self

Research has established that individuals who tend to vary their personality depending on who they are with, show a variety of signs of psychological maladjustment in comparison to those who do not; they show more negative affect (Baird, Le and Lucas, 2006), lower life satisfaction (Suh, 2002), lower self-esteem (Sheldon et al., 1997), lower role-satisfaction (Donahue et al., 1993), higher rates of depression (Lutz and Ross, 2003), more anxiety (Diehl, Hastings and Stanton, 2001) and poorer physical health (Cross, Gore and Morris, 2003). It has also been shown that personality variability is positively related to the experience of inauthenticity and falsity (Sheldon et al., 1997). Donahue, Roberts, Robins and John (1993) found that personality inconsistency of this type is related to tension within the family. Psychoanalytic theory has also linked the operation of an adult false self to experiences with parents, particularly in early life (Winnicott, 1960). It was hypothesized that personality variability and the adult experience of falsity in social situations would be related to an emotionally unstable relationship with parents. The method to test this comprised a questionnaire-based survey given to a non-clinical population. The final sample comprised 305, with 193 women and 112 men, aged from 19 to 55. The first questionnaire asked participants to rate personality traits, including emotional stability, in three social contexts - with parents, with friends and with work colleagues. The second part involved 3 questions; participants were asked to select in which of the aforementioned three social contexts they felt “most themselves”; in which they were “most authentic” and in which they “put on a front”. It was found, consistent with predictions, that an index of overall personality variability calculated from the personality questionnaire correlated strongly with emotional instability around parents (r = 0.46, p<0.001), while not correlating with emotional instability in either of the other two contexts measured. This suggests a specific link between a person’s relationship with their parents and their overall personality integration. Furthermore, it was found that participants who cited one of the three social contexts (parents, friends, work colleagues) as being one in which they were “more themselves” or “more authentic” had significantly higher ratings of emotional instability with parents than those participants who found that they were equally authentic across settings (F = 9.8, p<0.005). The results suggest a clear link between a person’s relationships with their parents and their adult personality integration. An explanation is that individuals who experience an anxious or ambiguous attachment with their parents in childhood may fear rejection or abandonment in later life, and so habitually adapt their personality to fit in to social contexts as adults, in order to be accepted by others and to minimize the possibility of social rejection. These individuals meanwhile retain an emotionally unstable relationship with their parents in adulthood. This interpretation is speculative but is open to empirical testing. Clinicians should be aware that attachment problems with parents may underlie poor personality integration in adulthood.

Ambitious mothers – successful daughters: Mothers’ early expectations for children’s education and children’s earnings and sense of control in adult life

Background. Mothers' expectations for their children's educational attainment are related to children's educational and occupational attainment. Studies have yet to establish, however, the long-term links between maternal expectations and offspring earnings, which are not always related to occupational attainment especially in women, or between maternal expectations and offspring sense of control and self-efficacy, which are pivotal factors in career choice and development. Aims. To explore the role of mothers' expectations for their children's educational attainment in children's earnings attainment and sense of control later in life. Method. Data from sweeps of the 1970 British Cohort Study (BCS70) were used. The study sample was those cohort members with complete information on all the variables of interest. The study sample (N = 3,285) was more educated and less disadvantaged than the whole sample. If cohort members of this type are more likely to have a mother who has high expectations, then our results are biased downwards, which suggests that we underestimate the effect of expectations on our two outcome variables. Results. Mothers' expectations at the age of 10 were positively related to daughters' sense of control at the age of 30 even after controlling for ethnicity, educational attainment, and concurrent partner, parent, and labour market participation status, as well as the following confounding variables (measured at the ages of 0–10): general ability and general ability squared, locus of control, emotional and behavioural problems and emotional and behavioural problems squared, socio-economic disadvantage, parental social class, parental family structure, and mothers' education, child-rearing attitudes, and mental health. Mothers' expectations had no effect on sons' adult outcomes. Conclusions. Given that women are particularly at risk for poor psychological and economic outcomes in adulthood, and that this study likely underestimated the effect of expectations on these two outcomes, this is an important conclusion.