"I’ll call you when we are ready" (One family’s experience of critical care and end of life decision making)

The purpose of this paper is to explore through narrative accounts one family's expérience of critical care, after the admission of a family member to an Intensive Care Unit (ICU) and their subséquent death five weeks later. Numerous studies support the need for effective communication and clear information to be given to the family. In this instance it was évident from their stories that there were numerous barriers to communication, including language and a lack of insight into the needs of the family. Many families do not understand the complexities of nursing care in an ICU so lack of communication by nursing staff was identified as uncaring behavior and encounters. Facilitating a family's proximity to a dying patient and encouraging them to participate in care helps to maintain some sensé of personal control. Despite a commitment to involving family members in care, which was enshrined in the Unit Philosophy, relatives were banished to the waiting room for hours. They experienced feelings of powerlessness and helplessness as they waited with other relatives for news following investigations or until 'the doctor had completed his rounds'. Explanations of "we must make 'the patient' comfortable" was no consolation for those who wished to be involved in care. The words "I'il call you when we are ready" became a mantra to the forgotten families who waited patiently for those with power to admit them to the ICU. Implications are this family felt they were left alone to cope with the traumatic expériences leading up to and surrounding the death. They felt mainly supported by the priest, who not only administered the last rites but provided spiritual support to the family and dealt sensitively with many issues. Paternalism in décision making when there is a moral obligation to ensure that discussions on end of life dilemmas are an inclusive process with families, doctors, nurses was not understood, therefore it caused conflict within the family over EOL décision making. The family felt that the opportunity to share expériences through telling and retelling their stories would enable them to reconfigure the past and create purpose in the future.

The healing power of grandparents who parent

This paper explores the changing role of contemporary grandparents with many demonstrating a willingness and ability to take on parental responsibilities for their grandchildren, where they may face challenges and opportunities in difficult times. Three main forms of grand parenting are identified in the literature, those who hâve primary responsibility and are raising their grand children as their main carers perhaps in response to crisis situations, those who live in extended families and participate in care, and those who provide day care while the child's parents work. The rôle of Grandparents encompasses ail three areas in the United Kingdom. This has occurred as a resuit of the increased récognition of children living in abusive families, of the increasing frequency of divorce, single parenting, children and families living in poverty, socio-economic deprivation and the lack of available or subsidised child care in the United Kingdom when parents hâve to work to support the family. Ail of this against the backdrop the Every Child Matters change for children Agenda. When grandparents step into a troubled situation and attempt to offer stability and security for their grandchildren they may hâve to manage the combined responsibilities of family caregivers and parental figures. Grandparenthood is atenuous rôle, lacking clear agreement on behaviour norms. In the current culture of advice and parenting support, while care must be taken not to undermine parenting skills or make judgements about the ability to cope with the demands of childcare, an exploration of the impact on grandparents, and children in the context of families must be undertaken. Due to the complex web of interrelated factors the process and outcomes of care giving by grandparents is not well known in the literature. It is proposed therefore that it is timely to explore the impact of this on the health of children and their families in the current climate of change when there has been dissolution of the nuclear family and grandparents are playing increasingly significant rôles in healing and supporting their families.