‘Doing’ separation in contemporary Ireland: the experiences of women who separate in midlife

This study explores the experiences of fourteen Irish women who separated in midlife. The rationale for choosing to study this age group of women is because they are the first generation of Irish women to publically separate in midlife in such large numbers. All of them entered marriage at a time when divorce was not possible in Ireland and as such they are broadly without a cultural ‘script’ for how to ‘do’ separation. An exploratory study was conducted to try to capture the processes and events that are part of the lived experiences of separation for women in midlife. In-depth interviews were conducted with fourteen women who were recruited following their attendance at post-separation courses. The participants came from predominantly middle class backgrounds. Narrative interviews were conducted which covered topics such as the attitudes to separation internalised during childhood, the genesis of the marital problems, the events that triggered the separations, the women’s emotional reactions at the time of separating and their social, housing and financial outcomes of having separated. A theoretical framework using concepts related to connectedness and fragmentation was used to analyse the data. Significant diversity was found in the experiences of the interviewees. Most of the women retained connectedness to their children, to their families of origin and to friends who were not joint friends. Significant fragmentation was found in relationships with ex-husbands, with in-laws and with joint friends. All of the women were worse off financially than if they had remained married. They felt socially isolated in the aftermath of separation. Many of the women were struggling to establish positive identities as separated women. While a few of them were very relieved that their marriages had ended, for most, separation was experienced as a painful episode in their lives.

Home, family and society: women of the Irish landed class, 1860-1914. A Munster case study

The thesis analyses the roles and experiences of female members of the Irish landed class (wives, sisters and daughters of gentry and aristocratic landlords with estates over 1,000 acres) using primary personal material generated by twelve sample families over an important period of decline for the class, and growing rights for women. Notably, it analyses the experiences of relatively unknown married and unmarried women, something previously untried in Irish historiography. It demonstrates that women’s roles were more significant than has been assumed in the existing literature, and leads to a more rounded understanding of the entire class. Four chapters focus on themes which emerge from the sources used and which deal with their roles both inside and outside the home. These chapters argue that: Married and unmarried women were more closely bound to the priorities of their class than their sex, and prioritised male-centred values of family and estate. Male and female duties on the property overlapped, as marriage relationships were more equal than the legislation of the time would suggest. London was the cultural centre for this class. Due to close familial links with Britain (60% of sample daughters married English men) their self-perception was British or English, as well as Irish. With the self-confidence of their class, these women enjoyed cultural and political activities and movements outside the home (sport, travel, fashion, art, writing, philanthropy, (anti-)suffrage, and politics). Far from being pawns in arranged marriages, women were deeply conscious of their marriage decisions and chose socially, financially and personally compatible husbands; they also looked for sexual satisfaction. Childbirth sometimes caused lasting health problems, but pregnancy did not confine wealthy women to an invalid state. In opposition to the stereotypical distant aristocratic mother, these women breastfed their children, and were involved mothers. However, motherhood was not permitted to impinge on the more pressing role of wife